Educated partner

This week has been extremely crazy with loaded with many insightful and sometimes funny discussions.

Divas out there are just crazy. There is not enough space on one paper to fill up everything I have heard and thought of. I love having these talks with friends but mainly random strangers because sometimes friends are afraid to share their inner most feelings about certain subjects.

I realized that the issue of education is often not thought about until you find yourself in that situation. I also learnt that women do a lot of compromising in most situations, just as some men do, but I cannot speak from the male point of view.

I once met a man any woman would die to have, he had a great job, well educated, well spoken and travelled and yet he was as humble as pie. He wasn’t so great in the looks department but he would make up for that at the dinner table…you know when you bring him around your people and they try to poke at his brains and he just simply dazzles them? *wink*

This man asked me asked me so many questions it felt like a job interview. This man wanted to know how far my education had gone, what jobs I had held in the past, what my views were on many issues, wanted to know if I watched the news too and if I exercised in anyway besides between the sheets. He also wanted to know what my plans were career wise, for the next 5years. I didn’t understand what the point of this was back then. I walked away feeling like he really wasn’t interested in me but more interested in what’s in it for me if he decides that we are fit to be together. But looking back, I have more understanding. Here was a man who was beyond the words well educated, well mannered, principles, set his standards high, looked after himself and yes had everything money could buy. And all he wanted to know was if I was on the same page with him…if not financially at least in education. His minimum requirement was a college degree.

He calmly explained that, he needed a woman who could mentally challenge him yet be woman enough to take the pressure of his job off his mind. He needed someone who could take care of herself, keep herself engaged, someone who had goals and didn’t mind working towards meeting them. He said even if the woman he is with is unemployed, if she has a college degree, finding her a job wouldn’t be a problem. He didn’t just need a beautiful woman, he needed an all-rounder. He told me, he could have any woman he pleased but many failed to meet his standards so he didn’t see why he should lower his to meet theirs. Being his woman meant you have to be an individual before you are his partner. This gem is rare, a man who wants his woman to shine so he can shine.

Most women will not stop to think if a man is less educated than us.

 I don’t think the thought crosses our minds if the suitor is less educated or not. I think matter of “well-educated” has been an issue for the upper-class mostly, where the parents will ask if the person their son/daughter is dating has the same financial background or is at least well educated with good job prospects for the future.

 Our social circle also determines this, for example, if you are a college student: you find that you will hang around more with others who are in college or perhaps those who have started working. The assumption is that you will most probably date within that same circle. Right? This excludes the girls that are attracted to the men who largely just laze about with nothing to do all day- don’t get mad ladies, we know some of y’all get down like that.

So it is a safe assumption that when a woman meets a guy who has what other would term a decent job she will think he has some level of education that goes beyond high school. For a long time the minimum requirement for any job has been a high school diploma. And for a long time our grandmothers where comfortable with us dragging back men who were only educated up to high school level .Oh how times have changed.

So what happens when you find yourself as a woman dating or falling for a man who has a decent job yet never even completed the minimum requirement for employment?

You are wondering how? Well, in some countries the nationals (citizens) are allowed to hold jobs in public service like the army, police force, fire fighters etc without a high school degree. The only way they differentiate between the levels of education within these organizations is through how high your level of education is. And let’s face it, in these countries the service men are paid quite fairly compared to other places on earth.

Many women believe it is only a man who can dictate these terms of education. But we are dealing with a new breed of woman, a woman who will not settle for less when she can have gold. A woman who has set her standards and refuses to lower them. Of course there are exceptional situations where the being of a man simply outweighs his level of education. There is nothing wrong, as a woman, to say that you prefer to date men who are as educated as you are or slightly above you. Just like it’s easy for other woman to say they will only date men with jobs.

I argue that it’s important to date somebody who has been through college at least, because in most cases the mentality and school of thought will differ greatly from the man who has not gone through the process of school. You may not always agree on the same issues because many factors besides education come to play in a relationship. A long time friend once said to me that school is not so much as important as what they are teaching you, it’s the discipline and thought process that they are nurturing that is more important. I have found this to be true. Yes we have educated hooligans but more often than not you find them in suits being playground bullies in the board room.

So all my beautiful friends, readers, foes and all. It is ok to tell a man or woman that the minimum requirement is this or that. Set your standards high, when you set your own standards nobody can set them for you. And do not lower them for anybody unless you deem absolutely necessary. It may sound cold and heartless or gold digging to others but as for me, I would rather be stuck with an educated fool than one who isn’t. It’s just one less thing to feel insecure about.

With that said… the ball game is different for cougars *wink*.

DiamondDiva