What is the measure of a man?

What is the measure of a man?

Is it how much money he has in the bank? Is it the power and influence he possesses in society?

Is it how much money he can spend not only on himself but on his chosen bird of the season?

Is it the type of job he has? Is it his level of education rather than his level of intelligence?

Is it the way he rocks his swag or that big turbo engine he has parked in his garage? *wink*

What is the measure of a man?

Maybe it is his spiritual wealth and his rigorous healthy lifestyle determine his worth?

Is it the strength of his religious affiliation?

Could it be his ability to work through your mess while you continue to do him wrong?

Perhaps the measure of a man lies within his loins?

Who determines what and who is man enough? Is it the countless women who say all man are dogs?  Divas you better be careful because DOG spelt backwards is GOD.

Is it possible that men themselves, have imposed on society what they should be viewed as, could it be the over achievers who get enough air time to make sure that the underachievers can never have any piece of that pie.LOL. Have men woven themselves into the cloth they are wearing today, that you can no longer tell the difference between the cloth and the person wearing it.

They all come bearing gifts and promises in some shape or form, but let the truth be told that nothing in this world is free, everything will come with a small price to pay or sacrifices to be made. So you can either play it blind (I know a lot of Divas do) or play it smart.

Money has the power to blind a woman so badly she would marry the Grinch, and when I say Grinch, I’m just talking about the look of the Grinch, remember the Grinch was one mean cuss!

And men know this and use it to their advantage. You see ladies, men are smart yet stupid, but smart nevertheless. Most men have narrowed women to 4 types: iPhone, Blackberry, Nokia and Android.

IPhone- She is classy, expensive looking, she can be useful but better as an accessory for those nights out or office functions. Many men want a woman like this but they forget the configuration of an iPhone is tricky. This woman is smart, she stays ahead.

Blackberry-She presents herself in an affordable way but this girl will wipe your money out and yet you will still want her. She comes across as pretentious.

Nokia- She is simple, easy to maintain and to play around with. Side line chick- a nokia is always that spare phone somewhere in the back of your closet. You need one just in case of emergency.

Android- Treats you well if you know how to treat her well keep her shiny and hope to God she loves you for real. This woman is the all rounder most men don’t know how to handle.

I don’t blame men for turning us into phone technology because that just how we operate as women, hate it or love it. All we need now is a good service provider willing to sustain us and keep our battery power charged. I have a few suggestions for service providers you could try as a woman;

 Zain Telecommunication- He has strong bank account, has good track record of good customer service and its international so you are bound to get an international passport. But he is very possessive, LOL.

Wataniya Telecom- Looks and feels good. Talks more hot air than your cousins and always has some network interference going on.

SwaziMTN- which comes highly un-recommended by previous users, he is highly unreliable, lies through his teeth and is always taking money from you for transport to work.

AT&T- He has some money but you will never really know it because he does a good job at hiding it. He will treat you well if you become his pet. He will mess your life up should you grow some smarts and try to do you. He is a master of manipulation.

Sprint- Oh this guy is flashy, he is willing to buy your love…but keep in mind nothing is free.

T-Mobile – He is simple and down to earth, laid back and works hard most of the time. If you are looking for a functional relationship on a more realistic front.this is your man. Don’t count on going shopping though. LOL.

So we have technically all put ourselves in a box. What is real and what isn’t is entirely up to us to try and find.

Most women say they are looking for a real man. Yet they struggle with their definition of real. I think a real man is the type that will keep it real with himself before he dares to keep it real with you. A man who can be a true friend, a man who has your best interests at heart even if it means your best interests are either not with him or a distance from him, a man who looks out for his team no matter what- without looking for gain, a selfless type of man who is willing to give you his last and never go back and remind you of it. Where are the men who are not afraid for divas to earn more than him, a man who isn’t afraid to support a woman’s dreams because he doesn’t fear her success- he understands that when you shine, he shines. Ladies we need to understand that men are not intimidated by our success; it is how we act or handle our success that makes them seem intimidated, mostly.

A real man is comfortable to let you blossom and spread your wings because what God written nobody has the power to change. He is your financial, business and emotional advisor, he doesn’t impose his ideas and life on you because if it is written that will happen without any force, without notice your lives will become one, embedded in profound respect, love and a deep understanding of your lives as a unit and as individuals.

He doesn’t try to change who you are to suit the vision he has in his mind for you. This man admits to his faults, accepts his shortcomings, deals with his failures in a way that is so mature that his successes shadow the minor speed bumps he comes across. As a man, he will never lay his hands on you, for how can he destroy such a precious work of art that is you.

He is humble and God fearing.

Diva Motto #1: I’m a real woman who knows what she wants and I am at a point in my life whereby I am not afraid to state and go out and get what I want. I am content with all the disappoints I have encountered and I am comfortable to say that I can lay in bed at night by myself without the urgency or fictitious need to have a man lay up in me.

Lie to Love

Hands up anyone who has ever told a lie?

Oh come on, raise your hand, nobody is watching besides God.

And I won’t be sugar coating it and giving lying degrees or level like little white lies, or big bad lie or failure- to-think-lie, a lie is a lie.

I often don’t care why people lie because their lies often have nothing to do with my life directly but their own psychological health. So when I find out a man has told a lie to me, naturally, I want to know why but after a few minutes I’m ready to move. I don’t understand what I would get in return if I was to hover over someone else not being honest with me, so I keep it honest with myself and keep it moving.

Sounds simple right?

Well I have also found out most things in life are easier said than done. Especially when it concerns somebody that you liked, loved or were frinemies with.  It is in all of us to want to play Sherlock Holmes as to why we were lied too, but sometimes there really isn’t anything to it, that person just lied to you because it was easier than telling you the truth which they thought was complicated at the time. And you can’t honestly say you have that much energy to waste to go digging where you shouldn’t be. I hope you are happy with the results should you find what you are looking for.

The fact that you did not tell the truth does not makes your degree of lying no bigger or lesser than the guy who lied about being single yet he was married, or the chick who told you that you were dating exclusively while she knew she had three or four other Johns on the side or the woman who said she had no kids while she had four, or the guy who told you he was banker while all he did was lay up in his mother’s house and plan bank robberies, or the guy who said he wouldn’t be hanging out Friday night but come Sunday and his picture is in the paper dancing up a storm in the club, or the woman that told you she was a senior manager at her job while she really just worked at the reception or the kid who said he hadn’t eaten the sugar while you could see traces of white sugar on his face.

Do y’all get the picture? A lie is a lie, what we call a small lie tends to grow into a big lie because you have to keep that story up.

Most importantly never ever lie to keep someone in your life, just don’t do it because they will be staying with what they know of you not you.

If a man can’t accept that you have a couple of kids waiting at home for you, then he needs to step and you need to move on! I absolutely do not understand the women who carry on in a relationship with a man who would run a mile if he knew they were mothers or divorced. If he can’t handle that you have been through a few things in your life that you have a history and past…I don’t see why you hanging around that kind of man. He needs to go find himself some school girl.

And the same goes for women, some Divas cannot accept that he has to pay child support to his kids and sometimes help out his baby mama, and you always running your mouth about the mother of his kids…girl, you need to quit with all of that or leave him. Because you are causing unnecessary drama.

If a woman can’t accept that a man makes below a certain amount of money a year, then she needs to get two jobs or leave him to try and find a baller, if that’s what she is about.

If a DIVA can’t accept that her man doesn’t drive a Benz or drive at all, she needs to move on to the next one before she starts lying to her friends trying to cover up why she’s with a man who walks or rides the bus.

If a man cannot be honest with you about what he does for a living, he doesn’t deserve to be in your life. He needs to trust that you are there for him until you prove him otherwise.

When a meet a person for the time, don’t lie but just tell them you cannot be laying your life out in the open with a stranger (that is what they are at this point). There are certain things you don’t need to hide like being married/involved, having kids, student/employed etc. those are things I think your love interest would like to get a heads up on so they know what they are getting into should they want to get into it. That’s why it’s important to date, and by dating I’m not talking physical connects, I mean going out on actual dates or talk often, because that is how you will get to know the next better before you make any decisions.

And don’t you just love to hear the reasons behind why people lied, I have heard it all.

It is extremely creative and near comical to hear the justifications people will use to try and make you think that it was ok for them to do what they did.

A man will justify cheating on his wife as, “she was there for me when no one else was”.

Women and men will justify lying about themselves as, “I was afraid you would not accept me or you would leave me”.

A man will justify not answering his phone as, “my battery was low and later died”.

A woman will justify her disappearance as, “we had a family emergency”.

A little boy will justify stealing the sugar as, “I knew you would say no if I asked”.

Are you laughing yet? Because I am.

Lying just gets in the way of you living your life care and stress free. It’s an easy habit to pick up and it stems from the person always wanting to be right, or seem like they know it all or just want to seem flawless which is impossible at human level.

See already for a person to always want to be right or seem perfect; that’s mental instability on its own right there. Always remember the loudest one in the room either has a lot to hide or they just enjoy talking hot air. Just as still waters run deep.

Don’t worry about others lying to you, worry about yourself being completely honest with them.

Tell the truth, let it rip and how they react is their problem and not yours. You would have done your noble part just by being honest. Telling the truth does seem hard, but it does set your mind free.

If they cannot accept you for whom you are, then you have no business trying to be around them….or in them. *wink*

DiamondDiva

What women want

I bet you all man would love to know what a girl wants. I’m sure they would pay anyone who said they have figured it out and finally have an answer. I know for a fact that all men, even if they will not admit it, would love to live in the minds of their women at least for a week.

All men at some point in their lives can think of at least one moment whereby they have publicly declared or secretly wished on knowing what women want.

Ok so what’s so special about knowing what a woman want?

Why do men make this sound like a very difficult mission that needs a super human to actually execute it?

Can somebody help me please?

Well to start with, most men have a general idea as to how their woman functions and sometimes they think they understand her. But most BOYS, what a woman wants is written down somewhere on an old scroll hidden away in the deepest caves on the Mediterranean sea.LOL.

Let me help you, no it is not. Even if it was, you would still be trying to figure out how to make there because you are just so lazy.

It is not rocket science that women or a hidden secret that woman enjoy receiving whether it is a single rose, a romantic note, a Rolex or oral s.e.x , the point if receiving is an aspect about ourselves we just can’t do away with. That is why Jay-z still buys Beyonce gifts regardless of how strong her money is. That is why most men know when to spend a little on their woman for no apparent reason… you see they have understood that keeping her happy is part of the package because the returns of a happy or whipped woman will send a man to heaven and back, he will be a king of a yet to be named kingdom. You are not buying her love or loyalty.

You are simply recognizing what your woman wants and delivering on that.

But the boys, oh yea, the boys will watch his girl walking in the rain and not even think to buy her an umbrella because they will dress it up as gold digging. FYI, if you just get up and buy your girl something without her having to ask for it, then that’s not gold digging its receiving without rejection. LOL.

 Show me a guy who doesn’t like receiving head, show me a husband who doesn’t enjoy riding on his wife, and show me a man who doesn’t enjoy it when his woman looks good? If you can point out a man like this to me, I’ll show you a man who couldn’t careless about his partner from an emotional level all the way out

Why are these boys up at Zar club popping bottles when your woman looks like a mess?  And the men… oh they men spend that 4K on her and happily go alone to Zar because they know mama is happy.

Call it what you like the point is not about spending money, but the gesture in whatever form will be greatly appreciated.

If you know your woman likes flowers; do not wait until you get into a fight with her to get them for her, why not just buy flowers just to see her smile?

If your woman likes perfume; why not buy it for her?

If your woman likes to eat, cook for her every now and again or take her out when you can.

Pick up the phone and call her when she least expects you to.

Write her a note saying something sweet, not just reminding her to pick up a loaf of bread for you at the garage shop!

What’s this unspoken rule amongst guys about getting women gifts?

Oh let me guess, you will only buy a woman a gift only if she is your main squeeze and doesn’t act like she wants your money. Ok, what does a woman who likes money act like?

This is where we must learn to give without expecting anything to return. If you care about her, would like to see her in that, cop it for her.

And a man who showers his woman with gifts is regarded as something less than a man when in fact he is being a gentle man.

There are things that your woman craves for that are not materialistic or will not cost you a cent and no I’m not referring to the dick. I’m talking about loving her, hugging her, kissing her, holding her hand, holding her, care for her without sounding like the big brother she never had.

Take that long drive just to tell her hello and kiss her.

You don’t have to be rich to keep a woman happy.

It’s simple guys if you want to know exactly what your woman is like and what she wants…spend time with her, listen to her, pay attention (and I know this is difficult for y’all to do) and if you have no interest in what she is saying, don’t even dare try to look interested. She may not say it to you right then, but believe me she noticed. A romantic text or note left on her car windshield while she was working will make you seem like a billionaire!

Help her where she needs help, she needs to know that you are able to change a flat tyre on her car should the need arise; she needs to know that you are capable of taking care of her needs (by needs I am not talking about financial needs). She needs to sleep knowing she should wake up to find her house burning she can call on you.

If you can take care of all this and more (because there is a whole lot more,these are just a few basics), your woman would either have to be high on crack or drunk off local Arab vodka to leave or cheat on you.

That’s right boys, being a man is not easy. You don’t just to sit on your behind and enjoy the ride. Money alone will not make your woman happy or stay.

For example, if you doubt that your s.e.x isn’t all that, you need to work at it or cover for it in other areas.

This is why it usually is a grown man who knows how and what will make a woman happy because they have been around this block a few times, they know. While these young ones are too busy calling women names yet expecting to be given the royal treatment.

It’s unfair but it is what it is, you get out what you put in- emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially.

It may seem like it’s a bit too much to put up with but you need to accept that women are just created like that; it has nothing to do with their financial background.

Beyonce makes a lot of money but she too says nothing beats receiving gifts from her man.

It’s the gesture that shows us that we really do go through your mind all day.

Inspired by YOU,

DiamonDiva

New Found Love

I’m old yet young.

I haven’t lived long enough to know it all, to know how to handle and deal with life’s trials and tribulations. I haven’t lived long enough to know which turns to take, which bushes to cut down in this journey we call life. It is all trial and error. I haven’t lived long enough to know what true love is when it hits me in the face. I haven’t lived long enough to know when the right time to hold someone who’s lost a loved one is. I haven’t lived long enough to know from face value whether or not a person is my true friend. I haven’t lived long enough to celebrate each time I hear some news about the stock markets.

I haven’t lived long enough to tell you if he loves you or not. I haven’t lived long enough to tell you if he will forever be yours or not because at the end people change and their characters are never fully revealed.

I would still rather read a book and smell the pages as opposed to using a kindle.LOL.

I have lived long enough to know that I am not perfect, in fact I am far from it.

I have lived long enough to know that when I go through a hard time I keep to myself looking to those I love to comfort me without me having to cry before they hug me. I have lived long enough to know how I am capable of achieving beyond my wildest imaginations.

I have lived long enough to know that I love fiercely which is why I tread carefully.

I have lived long enough to know that I am loyal and when I care about something or someone, I would go to the ends of the world, friends, family and lovers alike. I have lived long enough to know to cherish every passing moment and to live not exist. I have lived long enough to doubt what I hear unless I am shown, yes, actions speak louder than words.

I have lived long enough to know that not everything that glitters is gold. I have lived long enough to know that people bullshit half their lives and talk hot air.

It takes a life time to know just one person, so therefore in reality it is impossible to say you know them, in a perfect world, it will only take ten minutes to figure out what type of person your partner is.

Everybody is weak to the impression and fairytale vision of what love is supposed to be.  The reality of love is more jaded, it’s like a puzzle that you must put together with a total stranger- somebody you have no clue of their character, what you know and see is either the truth or an act they have put together for you to see.

While putting this puzzle together, there will be moment’s pure bliss when all the pieces are falling into place perfectly without a lot of work. Then there will be moments of frustration and feelings of despair as other pieces don’t fall into their perfect place or the place where you both wanted them to fit or a place where you have secretly hoped they would go. And it is at this point where you have to take some punches, deal with the minor disappointment and work together on figuring out where the pieces must go.

It is at this exact point where by people will give up and walk away because it looks and feels difficult or the other partner is not worth it. Yes I said it…we only walk away from situations and people who aren’t worth the fuss. Why would you stay and go through hell and high water when you can just move on to a less complicated greener looking patch of grass?

Don’t get me wrong, there are those couples (who have been together for years and years) who agree to part ways because they put their puzzle together a long time ago, they were in the rain and storms together and some pieces of the puzzles fell off and they have tried the best they can to put it back together again but it’s just not coming together anymore.

I’m talking about new love, those first few weeks and months when the newness is still strong and the excitement still gives you butterflies and birds chirp in the night time. When every love song you hear reminds you of your boo and Houdini has been resurreacted.LOL. When you smile just by the thought and mere mentioning of your partner, you glow, you just light up. When everything they do is just right.

This is all when all the pieces of the puzzle are falling perfectly into place.

How can you tell the difference between the truth, lust and infatuation?

It’s simple. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

Do not let something you don’t like or do not plan to like for a long time to go on for longer than you can handle. When you have no plans to ride it out, don’t get on.

If you are looking for more than just a fling don’t be afraid to put it out there and wear your heart on your sleeves.

Nothing is sweeter when you meet someone who wants to love you and loving them back gives you calm in your life, when loving each other is the most important thing between the two of you. There is an unspoken bond and feeling of respect.

You will both need to be patient and in my life I have learnt that somebody who doesn’t truly love you finds it hard to wait for you or rather to be patient with you.

There is no set rule or guide book in love and life. We live to learn. We just make the mistake to carry our past relationships into our current or future relationships forgetting that in a new relationship all you bring to the table is yourself and your character.

What has taken place in the past is for you to learn and become a better person, not to dig a hole for yourself and your new partner. Whatever comes your way, work at it together- I know it’s easier said than done but when the line of communication is open, use it. Something’s may seem embarrassing to say or mention but trust that you will be understood. If you both are open from day 1, and everything is put on the table, you are giving your partner the comfort that they are dealing with a mature individual who is willing to do the work for the relationship to blossom.

When you reassure your partner of your presence in his/her life and actually show that you want to stay; you will be creating a long lasting channel of closeness.

Don’t be afraid of each other, Talk, talk, talk….communicate. Remember that if you don’t talk there is no way you will know each other or know what is happening in your partner’s life. If you can’t call your partner, text your partner or make time to just sit and talk with all your clothes on, somebody will fill those shoes.

Oh and chatting on BBM/Whatsapp/ twitter/ facebook doesn’t count.

We all crave for the picture perfect love where no storms and gales come to disturb the spring but the reality of life is not as we dream or wish it to be. Seasons change and people grow; the earlier you learn this the better you will be at handling change in your life. Because to be a better lover or person, there will be some changes you have to go through. You can’t possibly remain the same all your life. There are lovers who will force you to grow emotionally or mentally and you have to be prepared to embrace, accept and forgive. Treat every experience as a lesson and preparation for your future love.

when you can respect a man simply because he is a man, without him having to buy you gold or flowers, you are on the right track.

Inspired by YOU,

DiamondDiva

What do you really want?

There is nothing more irritating or putting off than a man who has zero aspirations, is content with working the same job he has held for over 5 years with no promotion in sight. He’s not inspired to dibble and dabble in other things, a man who seems comfortable and is not looking for a change or new opportunities.

This man is not a hunter (yes because in the rules of nature men are the hunters). So when a man stops hunting for more meatier and fresh game and is content feasting on that same old skinny gazelle he caught 5 years ago it can only mean 2 things;

ü  He has NOT sharpened or practiced his hunting skills

ü  Because of number 1, going out in the world and hunting down your game when all the others around you are already feasting on buffalo is scary.

All this can breed bitterness in a man, making him incapable of making his woman happy or making his woman happy and everybody else miserable. There’s an aura of unhappiness about this type of dude it’s like he doesn’t see in color anymore, everything is in black and white. He has limited his mind to be open to possibilities simple because he is too lazy to create his own. This is the same guy who is quick to kill your dream and steal your idea at the same time. This man hates to see people “make it”. And it applies to us women too, we have women whore content sitting on their behinds and letting it roll in.

Nothing in this world comes rushing to you. You have to work for it.

Just like how a millionaire marries some blonde form farm-where you don’t even have a clue what that girl had to do to be noticed by a man who has many women running towards him.

And isn’t it strange how the uninspired lot always ends up with a diva who just loves the smell of money or high living? So this lazy man is actually forced (possibly for the first time in his life) to think of other ways to hunt.LOL.

Oh come on y’all, don’t act like you’ve never seen this in motion. Where a woman is placing an invisible mountain of pressure on her man to provide more. I like to look at it as not being pressure but a woman demanding that her man claim his place in the cycle of nature and hunt.

Do not get it twisted ladies and gents, let me take y’all to school for a little bit. There is a difference between a job, occupation and a career. And this next bit affects the professionals and not the BEE or new money kids on the block because that’s a different kind of science all together.

Often the terms job, occupation, and career are used interchangeably. In fact, they have very different meanings. A job is work for which you receive pay. Example: biologist at XYZ Biotical Company who earns $8000.00 a month.

An occupation is a wide category of jobs with similar characteristics. Example: physician, engineer, educator, or scientist.

A career is a lifetime journey of building and making good use of your skills, knowledge and experiences. It is the total of all events and relationships in our lives: family, friends, and education, work, and leisure activities.

And where you “work at” is somewhere you spend time until you figure out exactly what it is that you want to do with yourself.

It is safe to say that a majority of people never really think of this before they get into a relationship with somebody? Is it fair to say that the men and women who often are interested in this type of information are considered too serious to be dated, or too focused? There truth is it is no longer enough to just go about dating individuals who aren’t even sure of themselves, practically no defined direction or path. This separates the winners from the losers or those come in last. In some instances, it’s easier to say it doesn’t matter how fast or quick you get there but the reality of it is that as life progresses and we get older we lose the vicious tenacity we once had if we don’t have any personal achievements; we become content with that skinny gazelle when we too could have a buffalo. Do you follow?

The sooner you get into hunting, the better results you will yield as you learn.

There’s just no way a 42 year old man can compete for a job with a 25 year old man. Where has this older man been? Where are his peers in the same occupation?

This is why I tell my women and men friends to learn to demand more from the man/woman they are dating. You don’t have to be a millionaire in an X amount of time, but have a plan of progress, things may not always happening according to plan, but planning helps you to stay focused.

It’s not a crime to ask a guy what his five year plan is career-wise.

Explain to him that this 5 year plan, has nothing to do with you two getting married or having kids but you want to know where he sees himself in 5 years, he must be at least be able to visualize this. He may have a job but he must aspire to be more than just a sales clerk.

I know a man in my family who went from being sales assistant to managing director of an international brand company because he had a woman who demanded more from him educationally and skill-wise. He worked his sales job and went to school; there was constant change in his life with regards work. And as he nears retirement he can sit in his big spacious office, drive his upper-class vehicles, spend time with his beautiful wife and watch his children win just like he did.

 Divas, shims, flamingos and it’s, I will tell you today that there is a huge difference between working a job, occupation and career. Here a few ways to get started:

Five Principles for Career Planning

Change is Constant

We change constantly and so does the world around us – including the working world. Because a single occupation will no longer take us from the beginning to the end of our working lives, adaptability is an important skill to carry into the future.

Learning is Ongoing

Graduating from high school or college doesn’t mean that your education is complete. Opportunities to learn are everywhere!

Learn to recognize them and make your learning a lifelong experience.

Focus on the Journey

Traveling through life is like traveling down a road: having a destination gives direction, but most of the time is spent moving along. Pay attention to the journey with all its pitfalls, sidetracks, opportunities, and highways to new destinations.

Follow Your Heart

Dreaming about your future can help you understand what you really want in life. Knowing what you want and keeping it in your mind can give you the motivation you need to deal with life’s challenges. Never be afraid to dream.

Access Your Allies

The journey of life is not taken alone. Friends, family, teachers, neighbors – any of them can be willing and helpful allies when it comes to judging what steps to take in life’s path.

DiamondDiva

To date him or just s.e.x him?

Dating has been a game that people partake in to yield certain results. People date for many various reasons. Others date because they are passing time, others because they are afraid of being alone, others because they are hoping to meet someone who will be close to what they want, others date to get laid.

Whatever you reasons for dating are; it is important to know and keep in mind your goal for the whole exercise because wandering around aimlessly in the dating game will drain you out. It takes a lot of energy and time to be somebody’s else’s half. And you don’t want to be worn out before you meet your one. Also, don’t mistake dating for sex. Dating and sleeping with are separate terms.

The “ancient” institution of dating meant that we go on several dates, hardly ever kiss on those dates, and might hold hands, plenty of conversation, eye contact. This meant by the time you have been on numerous dates, you would be ready to know whether or not you would be connecting physically with that said individual. A physical connection was one of those things that were on both y’all minds but it wasn’t THEE priority. It was on the to-happen list. You both knew you wanted to get laid but you also knew it would happen so why rush. Emotions were given time to grow, dislikes to be found, flaws to be accepted. I know this sounds really old school and many have confused what men should be doing and said it’s just plain romantic. WRONG. What’s really romantic about something that is standard procedure? Ok…getting you flowers when you least expect them is romantic, but a man taking you on a date, calling you, texting you, talking to you because you are dating is NOT romantic. Its standard procedure divas don’t get it twisted.

The “modern-day” institution of dating has kind of kept the outline of the game but changed the principles. All in the name of “empowering female sexuality”. What in the world is that? Can somebody please shine a light on this pathetic excuse to get women to drop panties faster than dying flies?

Why do women have to sell themselves short to get a man? I, for one, certainly don’t think this is necessary simply because there are enough dicks to go around for everybody. *SMILE*

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking women who go out there looking to get laid by the blue collar brother in his dark navy Armani suit standing at the bar drinking his beer and smelling great. I don’t blame them. There is a difference between the women who don’t care to lay down with a different man every other weekend, because that is simply all they want and we all have the choice and power to do whatever we want with our cookies, and the women who are actually looking for something more solid, more meaningful, more stable than just sexual intercourse (especially since we can never be too sure if the sex will be worth giving yourself away too easily anyway.LOL).

And knowing that you are ready for something more than a fun weekend out comes with maturity, let’s also keep in mind that as much as maturity is supposed to come with age, it doesn’t. Divas out there are grown and beautiful women but still want to chase the elusiveness of a thrill, forgetting that these young swaggalicious divas are taking over. The younger they get, the more exciting it is for some of these pimps out here. That’s the truth. Men have a fetish for pretty young things. And no amount of Botox or silicon can get your youth glow back.

He may not actually go out and do something with a young one, but trust me he’s looking a fantasizing.

Ok, let me back track, when you meet someone; in less than 10 minutes you already know whether or not you want to have a relationship with that person or just shag.

The whole date thing just becomes a formality in view that you both have to get a better glimpse of each other’s minds (because you checked each other out well when you met anyway).

Some people would rather skip the “getting to know you better” part, and we all have different reasons. This is like a taking a short cut and all I can say is if you take a short cut you will get cut short.

 It’s as simple as that.

Think of it this way, here is this man you are totally enamored with and he could be getting laid another woman but he is choosing to wait a little while longer out of respect of your wishes. Isn’t that the fuzziest thing you will ever feel? Just by that alone, you have laid a solid foundation for respect in the relationship. There is nothing independent or strong spirited by sleeping with a man on the first night they meet him or within 3days.It is just plain old EASY and who wants easy? You would have given this man every reason not to respect you or your values. Oh yes, each time he dogs you out he will be thinking about how easy you were. Why then should he stick around or have an ounce of respect for you because you already gave him the prize quicker than a mouse will jump on cheese.

Let the character of man be more important than what he can bring to the table. It’s about the principality of the whole situation divas. Know your value and values.

Do not mistake “dating” for “sleeping with”. These are completely different.

Power to the girl who dated a few guys before she chose the one with whom she believed would be right for her to be in relationship with, regardless of the fact that it didn’t work out best in the end.

More power to the women who manage to sleep with all the guys who take them on dates, I just want to know if she even knows who she is at the end of it all. Or is she living in a fantasy world and sleeps better at night because she thinks she is sexually liberal? (See the fancy terms they have for abhorrent behaviors).

The truth is many men enjoy “the chase” and a man who is sincere about wanting you to be a part of life no matter the time span will wait. And just because he is waiting it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it or he isn’t going to try and get it every opportunity that presents it.

I am in no way saying that women need to be ice-queens and be cold. Show the man that you have your eyes on that you are deadly interested in him but don’t give him a red light district show while you at it. Divas, y’all need to get creative with this stuff, it isn’t rocket science, flirt, be polite, be presentable, look good. Find out what this man is into. If it means you have to sit there and watch Aljazeera…let it be. As much as men are a visual creatures, they find an element of sexy in a woman who has the ability to use her head every once in a while.

You know why most fellas won’t tell the truth about all this? Because they are benefitting from this lie. And any benefit is better than nothing, it’s not on them.

DiamondDiva

Silent existance

The moment you are not afraid to offend anyone with your words regardless of how sharp or blunt they may seem. The more sense of freedom you will feel. It is a truly exhilarating feeling to address head-on the issues you may feel strongly about. Bite your tough for no one.

A closed mouth doesn’t and never has been fed.

 And actually the more you keep stuff inside and never let it rip…you don’t let the people around you know who you are. And you are further giving people the leverage to continue taking the Mickey out of you and complaining doesn’t help because you let people treat you the way you allow them, through fear or otherwise. Fear is just an empty illusion that is manifested in our minds; we make it bigger than it really is.

 As a DIVA, you have to understand that being a diva isn’t just about how you swag or how good a fashionista you are, being a diva has to go with the attitude and how you carry yourself.

When I say attitude, it’s the air of confidence and grace that a woman exudes, her demand for respect even before she speaks, her ability to grab your attention with her words.

A real DIVA just doesn’t throw out incoherent ramblings just to be heard, she chooses wisely where and how to state her piece; she can gut you like a fish and make you feel loved at the same time. She won’t hold your feelings against you, just as long as you know.

A real DIVA, in all her couture, speaks her mind without a hint of remorse. She confidently says exactly what is on her mind, as politely and as respectful as can be but her tone lets all around know that she means business.

A real DIVA will not publicly humiliate you. For a DIVA to do that, it just means you didn’t heed her warnings and you laid your bed to sleep in it.

A real DIVA doesn’t need to get loud to get heard. She simply lays it down and leaves it to you to accept, embrace or reject. But she won’t go back on what she said.

A real DIVA knows when to remain silent too. Not silent because she is afraid to speak, but silent because silence is another tool to state your mind or position on any issue. She can silently let her opinion be known. DIVA on POWER.

It takes a courageous and brave person to be able to state your mind even when you know there will be a backlash; it takes a strong individual not to be battered by the opinions and comments of others, privately or publicly, to the point of backing down and remaining silent. To remain defiant in your beliefs even when it seems you are going against the tide… that is DIVA on another level.

When you open your mouth and speak your mind, you lay the law about who are, what you will or not accept and want you want. People will know how far to push and when to stop pushing your buttons. You don’t have to be loud, but speak your truth. Just remember that whatever  comes out of your mouth, whether you like it or not’ will be used a window into your heart, mind and inner self, also respect and keep in mind the Law Of Attraction, this is extremely important. We attract what we emit or give out. So think and speak positive as much as you can. Build your mansion and not your dungeon. Never let another Diva dictate who you are through judging your actions and statements. They don’t know your story and are not part of your journey so the bottom-line is unless they have been there; they can zip it and kindly sit down before they are pushed down.

A nice girl always gets to play the mat. And we all love mats to rub off the shit below our shoes, the mat that gets dirty and nobody bothers to wash.

I would rather prefer to be called mean or rude because frankly most of the time when you call a spade a spade, that is exactly how you will be labeled. Very few will call you a straight-talker. I also do recognize the many demeaning remarks uttered in the name of straight talk, as people we must be wise enough to recognize and distinguish between the thin lines of straight talk and disrespect.

Do not let yourself be exposed as an imbecile.

Another thing people have to distinguish between is directly associating your thoughts, however expressed, with something linking to your life. Are you confused yet?

The art of a thinker is one who can express an opinion and address it in the 1^st person as opposed to secondary or third. This way, already they have played with your mind. Do you have the ability to distance the person who said “fuck the police” away from this statement and look at what is going on in the community that may have led them to utter such a statement?

Does your brain hurt?

If you read somewhere that a certain individual said, “Is sex in the morning really worth the effort”, would you assume that they were talking about themselves or just merely posing a question?

This is what unfortunately social networking has done to the minds of countless people in the world.

It has taken away the ability for one to draw several conclusions form a statement before accepting it as “generally” as many may do. It has robbed people of basic mental exercises and left many bare in the English grammar spelling departments.

It has single handedly spoon fed hundreds, and this has led me to wonder if these certain individuals where indeed dim to begin with and social sites have just exposed their mentality or their failure to separate compound statements is an influence from other things? Or does it simply address the different approaches that people take to different things.

Recognize the art of a beautiful mind forcing you to actually think. Do not box it just so you are comfortable with not looking beyond.

I fail to understand how a sense of analysis and reasoning has left some people just because of what is said on face book or twitter; it’s like taking Jay-z’s lyrics literally when we all know he is a figurative rapper for majority of the time. When Hova says, “top down in the winter coz that’s what winners do” do you really think that’s exactly what he means or has he pushed you to look behind the castle he has built with words and dissect it to get to the real meaning of what he’s saying. Or am I taking HOVA’s words way to seriously or far?

So it is, when a real DIVA talks, pay attention to the finer details of what she is saying.

Your great moment of actually gaining wisdom may be missed simply because you refuse to let your mind be free.

DiamondDiva

In the head of a female

We all know that life is usually based on competition no matter how subtle it may seem.

Competition is alive and well at every corner and every passing moment of one’s life. The only difference is how seriously one takes it and do you actually go out with your mind set on crashing some competition. *wink*.

Ladies, Divas, shims ET all…you all know what I’m saying.

Whether you are competing with a peer, friend, relative, co-worker, foe or complete stranger- it’s still a competition.

As women, we compete at every little thing. We will even go to the extent of borrowing ( I don’t want to say thief, as much as that is what it is) another Diva’s style now commonly known as Swag and put out name on it just so we can fit the part. Women will break and stretch their budgets just to fit in another woman’s image (if you are balling on a budget you don’t  have to try so hard to stand out, just blend in- it’s the recession, we smart ones understand). Women do more hating then congratulating. The competition amongst women is an illusion that we have created the “shoe game”.

And oh yes, we all want to be that bad ass at the party or dinner who wore a shoe for most of the want to-be-diva to get green eyed about. And you know what’s crazy; when a woman rocks a great shoe- she knows it. She’s not looking for people to come right out and say it she’s not looking for complements because she already knows a majority of the women in that party are slowly simmering in envy. Yes if you throw out a little complement she will accept it as politely as she can. This diva will switch her ass-less behind and tiny hips right to left and toss her weave back whenever she can and cross her legs in a manner in which her shoes will be flossed well just so you can notice. This girl doesn’t even have to dance; she can just grab a couch and let all the other women fall over themselves. and we know only too well what other women will be thinking when they see this devious scheme to steal attention, they basically won’t have anything nice to say about her unless they are trying to get the name of the store she bought her partner in crime from and how much it’ll set them back for. She doesn’t even have to have a Kim Kardashian body, she doesn’t have to wear a “ devil in a blue dress’ number, all she has to do is wear anything that will bring more attention to the shoe, whether it’s the color, shape or form.

This woman who prides herself in her shoe game is not to be messed with in this department, because you will always come up short. You may make it look cute and sexy, but she makes it grown, sexy and classy. She’s 2-steps ahead of you and knows it.

She pimps it not so you can love it but so you can hate it.

Right after the shoe game, we have the killer body competition; this competition is open to all. Why? Because if you really put you mind to it and addressed the certain areas of your body you would love to see putting you all the way up there on the list of “body to die for” and you work hard at it; you could do it. Oh and throw in a little plastic surgery magic in there, whip it up…and voila, you’ve just won yourself a bunch of haters. LOL.

But the best contenders for this game are the ones who are born with it and know it; these girls will leave you spitting venom in the club when they start to grind their little waists, big behinds and great looking boobs (we all know the magic a good push-up bra can do, not forgetting our best friend silicon). The killer curves diva only has one thing in mind when she dresses up to go out, even to the corner store, she has one thing in the back of her mind, “does this hug my waist and shows off what my mama gave me”. This girl doesn’t need to buy the tightest outfits in the store, no, all she needs are the colors that best suit her makeup, create an ensemble and go out to make other girls feel like they were purchased from walmart.LOL.

I say, you don’t need to have the best curves, but take care of your curves. Love handles are so yester-year, outdated, expired. It’s not even teletubby cute anymore. It takes hard work to be a woman and you just have to show up at the competition for you to even begin to compete. Oh I know what some of you are thinking “what the hell is Zee saying, I don’t care about competition, and I’m comfortable with my body”. Well ok, that’s on you, but we both know that you’ve looked at a curvier girl, not skinny, curvier and cursed under your breathe. Come on, don’t try to seem like you have never in your life. I’m not a big girl, but I’ve looked at other women and went, “damn her”. When we begin to confront our inner truths, the better we are at loving ourselves.

We all want a bigger ass, bigger boobs, smaller stomach, thinner arms, slim thighs, longer hair, brains and all.

The ‘who is the smartest” game isn’t exactly a priority for most women, we have figured out that out looks pave the way for great things in life so we tend to roll out and play that card every chance we get. Even if it means acting like Phoebe from the TV sitcom Friends.

Some women, pride themselves in this. They would actually rather be mentally engaging than be a Barbie. I can respect that.

I can respect even more the woman who’s an all-rounder; mean wardrobe, always manages to looks great, takes care of her body, has a good lifestyle, cooks well, knows how to clean beyond sweeping, stylish and smart.

And when I say smart, I just don’t mean book smart, I mean both book and street smart. That’s a sexy look. What’s even sexier is the woman who understands the natural competitive streak in people around her and doesn’t see it as negative but rather embraces it, subtly competes but doesn’t let the competition take over her every fiber.

She knows when to let the obvious competitors take the spotlight because she knows it’s the center of their lives and having people commit suicide or be committed to a psychiatric center just because she decided to be a beast and go all out to compete is not a good look.LOL.

So no matter how insignificant or minute the competition may seem, it is still there. Buried behind all the smiles and false complements of others; even amongst family or even co-workers. And nowadays it’s worse because of all the social networking that allows other people a glimpse into the life you may be perpetrating to live.

The need to remain relevant too will have others compete with your brain even though they don’t know how you feed, nurture and maintain it.

You may not be competing, but the competition is there. Take a closer look even at your own circle or friends and family.

DiamondDiva