What is the measure of a man?

What is the measure of a man?

Is it how much money he has in the bank? Is it the power and influence he possesses in society?

Is it how much money he can spend not only on himself but on his chosen bird of the season?

Is it the type of job he has? Is it his level of education rather than his level of intelligence?

Is it the way he rocks his swag or that big turbo engine he has parked in his garage? *wink*

What is the measure of a man?

Maybe it is his spiritual wealth and his rigorous healthy lifestyle determine his worth?

Is it the strength of his religious affiliation?

Could it be his ability to work through your mess while you continue to do him wrong?

Perhaps the measure of a man lies within his loins?

Who determines what and who is man enough? Is it the countless women who say all man are dogs?  Divas you better be careful because DOG spelt backwards is GOD.

Is it possible that men themselves, have imposed on society what they should be viewed as, could it be the over achievers who get enough air time to make sure that the underachievers can never have any piece of that pie.LOL. Have men woven themselves into the cloth they are wearing today, that you can no longer tell the difference between the cloth and the person wearing it.

They all come bearing gifts and promises in some shape or form, but let the truth be told that nothing in this world is free, everything will come with a small price to pay or sacrifices to be made. So you can either play it blind (I know a lot of Divas do) or play it smart.

Money has the power to blind a woman so badly she would marry the Grinch, and when I say Grinch, I’m just talking about the look of the Grinch, remember the Grinch was one mean cuss!

And men know this and use it to their advantage. You see ladies, men are smart yet stupid, but smart nevertheless. Most men have narrowed women to 4 types: iPhone, Blackberry, Nokia and Android.

IPhone- She is classy, expensive looking, she can be useful but better as an accessory for those nights out or office functions. Many men want a woman like this but they forget the configuration of an iPhone is tricky. This woman is smart, she stays ahead.

Blackberry-She presents herself in an affordable way but this girl will wipe your money out and yet you will still want her. She comes across as pretentious.

Nokia- She is simple, easy to maintain and to play around with. Side line chick- a nokia is always that spare phone somewhere in the back of your closet. You need one just in case of emergency.

Android- Treats you well if you know how to treat her well keep her shiny and hope to God she loves you for real. This woman is the all rounder most men don’t know how to handle.

I don’t blame men for turning us into phone technology because that just how we operate as women, hate it or love it. All we need now is a good service provider willing to sustain us and keep our battery power charged. I have a few suggestions for service providers you could try as a woman;

 Zain Telecommunication- He has strong bank account, has good track record of good customer service and its international so you are bound to get an international passport. But he is very possessive, LOL.

Wataniya Telecom- Looks and feels good. Talks more hot air than your cousins and always has some network interference going on.

SwaziMTN- which comes highly un-recommended by previous users, he is highly unreliable, lies through his teeth and is always taking money from you for transport to work.

AT&T- He has some money but you will never really know it because he does a good job at hiding it. He will treat you well if you become his pet. He will mess your life up should you grow some smarts and try to do you. He is a master of manipulation.

Sprint- Oh this guy is flashy, he is willing to buy your love…but keep in mind nothing is free.

T-Mobile – He is simple and down to earth, laid back and works hard most of the time. If you are looking for a functional relationship on a more realistic front.this is your man. Don’t count on going shopping though. LOL.

So we have technically all put ourselves in a box. What is real and what isn’t is entirely up to us to try and find.

Most women say they are looking for a real man. Yet they struggle with their definition of real. I think a real man is the type that will keep it real with himself before he dares to keep it real with you. A man who can be a true friend, a man who has your best interests at heart even if it means your best interests are either not with him or a distance from him, a man who looks out for his team no matter what- without looking for gain, a selfless type of man who is willing to give you his last and never go back and remind you of it. Where are the men who are not afraid for divas to earn more than him, a man who isn’t afraid to support a woman’s dreams because he doesn’t fear her success- he understands that when you shine, he shines. Ladies we need to understand that men are not intimidated by our success; it is how we act or handle our success that makes them seem intimidated, mostly.

A real man is comfortable to let you blossom and spread your wings because what God written nobody has the power to change. He is your financial, business and emotional advisor, he doesn’t impose his ideas and life on you because if it is written that will happen without any force, without notice your lives will become one, embedded in profound respect, love and a deep understanding of your lives as a unit and as individuals.

He doesn’t try to change who you are to suit the vision he has in his mind for you. This man admits to his faults, accepts his shortcomings, deals with his failures in a way that is so mature that his successes shadow the minor speed bumps he comes across. As a man, he will never lay his hands on you, for how can he destroy such a precious work of art that is you.

He is humble and God fearing.

Diva Motto #1: I’m a real woman who knows what she wants and I am at a point in my life whereby I am not afraid to state and go out and get what I want. I am content with all the disappoints I have encountered and I am comfortable to say that I can lay in bed at night by myself without the urgency or fictitious need to have a man lay up in me.

Lie to Love

Hands up anyone who has ever told a lie?

Oh come on, raise your hand, nobody is watching besides God.

And I won’t be sugar coating it and giving lying degrees or level like little white lies, or big bad lie or failure- to-think-lie, a lie is a lie.

I often don’t care why people lie because their lies often have nothing to do with my life directly but their own psychological health. So when I find out a man has told a lie to me, naturally, I want to know why but after a few minutes I’m ready to move. I don’t understand what I would get in return if I was to hover over someone else not being honest with me, so I keep it honest with myself and keep it moving.

Sounds simple right?

Well I have also found out most things in life are easier said than done. Especially when it concerns somebody that you liked, loved or were frinemies with.  It is in all of us to want to play Sherlock Holmes as to why we were lied too, but sometimes there really isn’t anything to it, that person just lied to you because it was easier than telling you the truth which they thought was complicated at the time. And you can’t honestly say you have that much energy to waste to go digging where you shouldn’t be. I hope you are happy with the results should you find what you are looking for.

The fact that you did not tell the truth does not makes your degree of lying no bigger or lesser than the guy who lied about being single yet he was married, or the chick who told you that you were dating exclusively while she knew she had three or four other Johns on the side or the woman who said she had no kids while she had four, or the guy who told you he was banker while all he did was lay up in his mother’s house and plan bank robberies, or the guy who said he wouldn’t be hanging out Friday night but come Sunday and his picture is in the paper dancing up a storm in the club, or the woman that told you she was a senior manager at her job while she really just worked at the reception or the kid who said he hadn’t eaten the sugar while you could see traces of white sugar on his face.

Do y’all get the picture? A lie is a lie, what we call a small lie tends to grow into a big lie because you have to keep that story up.

Most importantly never ever lie to keep someone in your life, just don’t do it because they will be staying with what they know of you not you.

If a man can’t accept that you have a couple of kids waiting at home for you, then he needs to step and you need to move on! I absolutely do not understand the women who carry on in a relationship with a man who would run a mile if he knew they were mothers or divorced. If he can’t handle that you have been through a few things in your life that you have a history and past…I don’t see why you hanging around that kind of man. He needs to go find himself some school girl.

And the same goes for women, some Divas cannot accept that he has to pay child support to his kids and sometimes help out his baby mama, and you always running your mouth about the mother of his kids…girl, you need to quit with all of that or leave him. Because you are causing unnecessary drama.

If a woman can’t accept that a man makes below a certain amount of money a year, then she needs to get two jobs or leave him to try and find a baller, if that’s what she is about.

If a DIVA can’t accept that her man doesn’t drive a Benz or drive at all, she needs to move on to the next one before she starts lying to her friends trying to cover up why she’s with a man who walks or rides the bus.

If a man cannot be honest with you about what he does for a living, he doesn’t deserve to be in your life. He needs to trust that you are there for him until you prove him otherwise.

When a meet a person for the time, don’t lie but just tell them you cannot be laying your life out in the open with a stranger (that is what they are at this point). There are certain things you don’t need to hide like being married/involved, having kids, student/employed etc. those are things I think your love interest would like to get a heads up on so they know what they are getting into should they want to get into it. That’s why it’s important to date, and by dating I’m not talking physical connects, I mean going out on actual dates or talk often, because that is how you will get to know the next better before you make any decisions.

And don’t you just love to hear the reasons behind why people lied, I have heard it all.

It is extremely creative and near comical to hear the justifications people will use to try and make you think that it was ok for them to do what they did.

A man will justify cheating on his wife as, “she was there for me when no one else was”.

Women and men will justify lying about themselves as, “I was afraid you would not accept me or you would leave me”.

A man will justify not answering his phone as, “my battery was low and later died”.

A woman will justify her disappearance as, “we had a family emergency”.

A little boy will justify stealing the sugar as, “I knew you would say no if I asked”.

Are you laughing yet? Because I am.

Lying just gets in the way of you living your life care and stress free. It’s an easy habit to pick up and it stems from the person always wanting to be right, or seem like they know it all or just want to seem flawless which is impossible at human level.

See already for a person to always want to be right or seem perfect; that’s mental instability on its own right there. Always remember the loudest one in the room either has a lot to hide or they just enjoy talking hot air. Just as still waters run deep.

Don’t worry about others lying to you, worry about yourself being completely honest with them.

Tell the truth, let it rip and how they react is their problem and not yours. You would have done your noble part just by being honest. Telling the truth does seem hard, but it does set your mind free.

If they cannot accept you for whom you are, then you have no business trying to be around them….or in them. *wink*

DiamondDiva