What women want

I bet you all man would love to know what a girl wants. I’m sure they would pay anyone who said they have figured it out and finally have an answer. I know for a fact that all men, even if they will not admit it, would love to live in the minds of their women at least for a week.

All men at some point in their lives can think of at least one moment whereby they have publicly declared or secretly wished on knowing what women want.

Ok so what’s so special about knowing what a woman want?

Why do men make this sound like a very difficult mission that needs a super human to actually execute it?

Can somebody help me please?

Well to start with, most men have a general idea as to how their woman functions and sometimes they think they understand her. But most BOYS, what a woman wants is written down somewhere on an old scroll hidden away in the deepest caves on the Mediterranean sea.LOL.

Let me help you, no it is not. Even if it was, you would still be trying to figure out how to make there because you are just so lazy.

It is not rocket science that women or a hidden secret that woman enjoy receiving whether it is a single rose, a romantic note, a Rolex or oral s.e.x , the point if receiving is an aspect about ourselves we just can’t do away with. That is why Jay-z still buys Beyonce gifts regardless of how strong her money is. That is why most men know when to spend a little on their woman for no apparent reason… you see they have understood that keeping her happy is part of the package because the returns of a happy or whipped woman will send a man to heaven and back, he will be a king of a yet to be named kingdom. You are not buying her love or loyalty.

You are simply recognizing what your woman wants and delivering on that.

But the boys, oh yea, the boys will watch his girl walking in the rain and not even think to buy her an umbrella because they will dress it up as gold digging. FYI, if you just get up and buy your girl something without her having to ask for it, then that’s not gold digging its receiving without rejection. LOL.

 Show me a guy who doesn’t like receiving head, show me a husband who doesn’t enjoy riding on his wife, and show me a man who doesn’t enjoy it when his woman looks good? If you can point out a man like this to me, I’ll show you a man who couldn’t careless about his partner from an emotional level all the way out

Why are these boys up at Zar club popping bottles when your woman looks like a mess?  And the men… oh they men spend that 4K on her and happily go alone to Zar because they know mama is happy.

Call it what you like the point is not about spending money, but the gesture in whatever form will be greatly appreciated.

If you know your woman likes flowers; do not wait until you get into a fight with her to get them for her, why not just buy flowers just to see her smile?

If your woman likes perfume; why not buy it for her?

If your woman likes to eat, cook for her every now and again or take her out when you can.

Pick up the phone and call her when she least expects you to.

Write her a note saying something sweet, not just reminding her to pick up a loaf of bread for you at the garage shop!

What’s this unspoken rule amongst guys about getting women gifts?

Oh let me guess, you will only buy a woman a gift only if she is your main squeeze and doesn’t act like she wants your money. Ok, what does a woman who likes money act like?

This is where we must learn to give without expecting anything to return. If you care about her, would like to see her in that, cop it for her.

And a man who showers his woman with gifts is regarded as something less than a man when in fact he is being a gentle man.

There are things that your woman craves for that are not materialistic or will not cost you a cent and no I’m not referring to the dick. I’m talking about loving her, hugging her, kissing her, holding her hand, holding her, care for her without sounding like the big brother she never had.

Take that long drive just to tell her hello and kiss her.

You don’t have to be rich to keep a woman happy.

It’s simple guys if you want to know exactly what your woman is like and what she wants…spend time with her, listen to her, pay attention (and I know this is difficult for y’all to do) and if you have no interest in what she is saying, don’t even dare try to look interested. She may not say it to you right then, but believe me she noticed. A romantic text or note left on her car windshield while she was working will make you seem like a billionaire!

Help her where she needs help, she needs to know that you are able to change a flat tyre on her car should the need arise; she needs to know that you are capable of taking care of her needs (by needs I am not talking about financial needs). She needs to sleep knowing she should wake up to find her house burning she can call on you.

If you can take care of all this and more (because there is a whole lot more,these are just a few basics), your woman would either have to be high on crack or drunk off local Arab vodka to leave or cheat on you.

That’s right boys, being a man is not easy. You don’t just to sit on your behind and enjoy the ride. Money alone will not make your woman happy or stay.

For example, if you doubt that your s.e.x isn’t all that, you need to work at it or cover for it in other areas.

This is why it usually is a grown man who knows how and what will make a woman happy because they have been around this block a few times, they know. While these young ones are too busy calling women names yet expecting to be given the royal treatment.

It’s unfair but it is what it is, you get out what you put in- emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially.

It may seem like it’s a bit too much to put up with but you need to accept that women are just created like that; it has nothing to do with their financial background.

Beyonce makes a lot of money but she too says nothing beats receiving gifts from her man.

It’s the gesture that shows us that we really do go through your mind all day.

Inspired by YOU,

DiamonDiva

New Found Love

I’m old yet young.

I haven’t lived long enough to know it all, to know how to handle and deal with life’s trials and tribulations. I haven’t lived long enough to know which turns to take, which bushes to cut down in this journey we call life. It is all trial and error. I haven’t lived long enough to know what true love is when it hits me in the face. I haven’t lived long enough to know when the right time to hold someone who’s lost a loved one is. I haven’t lived long enough to know from face value whether or not a person is my true friend. I haven’t lived long enough to celebrate each time I hear some news about the stock markets.

I haven’t lived long enough to tell you if he loves you or not. I haven’t lived long enough to tell you if he will forever be yours or not because at the end people change and their characters are never fully revealed.

I would still rather read a book and smell the pages as opposed to using a kindle.LOL.

I have lived long enough to know that I am not perfect, in fact I am far from it.

I have lived long enough to know that when I go through a hard time I keep to myself looking to those I love to comfort me without me having to cry before they hug me. I have lived long enough to know how I am capable of achieving beyond my wildest imaginations.

I have lived long enough to know that I love fiercely which is why I tread carefully.

I have lived long enough to know that I am loyal and when I care about something or someone, I would go to the ends of the world, friends, family and lovers alike. I have lived long enough to know to cherish every passing moment and to live not exist. I have lived long enough to doubt what I hear unless I am shown, yes, actions speak louder than words.

I have lived long enough to know that not everything that glitters is gold. I have lived long enough to know that people bullshit half their lives and talk hot air.

It takes a life time to know just one person, so therefore in reality it is impossible to say you know them, in a perfect world, it will only take ten minutes to figure out what type of person your partner is.

Everybody is weak to the impression and fairytale vision of what love is supposed to be.  The reality of love is more jaded, it’s like a puzzle that you must put together with a total stranger- somebody you have no clue of their character, what you know and see is either the truth or an act they have put together for you to see.

While putting this puzzle together, there will be moment’s pure bliss when all the pieces are falling into place perfectly without a lot of work. Then there will be moments of frustration and feelings of despair as other pieces don’t fall into their perfect place or the place where you both wanted them to fit or a place where you have secretly hoped they would go. And it is at this point where you have to take some punches, deal with the minor disappointment and work together on figuring out where the pieces must go.

It is at this exact point where by people will give up and walk away because it looks and feels difficult or the other partner is not worth it. Yes I said it…we only walk away from situations and people who aren’t worth the fuss. Why would you stay and go through hell and high water when you can just move on to a less complicated greener looking patch of grass?

Don’t get me wrong, there are those couples (who have been together for years and years) who agree to part ways because they put their puzzle together a long time ago, they were in the rain and storms together and some pieces of the puzzles fell off and they have tried the best they can to put it back together again but it’s just not coming together anymore.

I’m talking about new love, those first few weeks and months when the newness is still strong and the excitement still gives you butterflies and birds chirp in the night time. When every love song you hear reminds you of your boo and Houdini has been resurreacted.LOL. When you smile just by the thought and mere mentioning of your partner, you glow, you just light up. When everything they do is just right.

This is all when all the pieces of the puzzle are falling perfectly into place.

How can you tell the difference between the truth, lust and infatuation?

It’s simple. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

Do not let something you don’t like or do not plan to like for a long time to go on for longer than you can handle. When you have no plans to ride it out, don’t get on.

If you are looking for more than just a fling don’t be afraid to put it out there and wear your heart on your sleeves.

Nothing is sweeter when you meet someone who wants to love you and loving them back gives you calm in your life, when loving each other is the most important thing between the two of you. There is an unspoken bond and feeling of respect.

You will both need to be patient and in my life I have learnt that somebody who doesn’t truly love you finds it hard to wait for you or rather to be patient with you.

There is no set rule or guide book in love and life. We live to learn. We just make the mistake to carry our past relationships into our current or future relationships forgetting that in a new relationship all you bring to the table is yourself and your character.

What has taken place in the past is for you to learn and become a better person, not to dig a hole for yourself and your new partner. Whatever comes your way, work at it together- I know it’s easier said than done but when the line of communication is open, use it. Something’s may seem embarrassing to say or mention but trust that you will be understood. If you both are open from day 1, and everything is put on the table, you are giving your partner the comfort that they are dealing with a mature individual who is willing to do the work for the relationship to blossom.

When you reassure your partner of your presence in his/her life and actually show that you want to stay; you will be creating a long lasting channel of closeness.

Don’t be afraid of each other, Talk, talk, talk….communicate. Remember that if you don’t talk there is no way you will know each other or know what is happening in your partner’s life. If you can’t call your partner, text your partner or make time to just sit and talk with all your clothes on, somebody will fill those shoes.

Oh and chatting on BBM/Whatsapp/ twitter/ facebook doesn’t count.

We all crave for the picture perfect love where no storms and gales come to disturb the spring but the reality of life is not as we dream or wish it to be. Seasons change and people grow; the earlier you learn this the better you will be at handling change in your life. Because to be a better lover or person, there will be some changes you have to go through. You can’t possibly remain the same all your life. There are lovers who will force you to grow emotionally or mentally and you have to be prepared to embrace, accept and forgive. Treat every experience as a lesson and preparation for your future love.

when you can respect a man simply because he is a man, without him having to buy you gold or flowers, you are on the right track.

Inspired by YOU,

DiamondDiva