RULES OF ENGAGEMENT-PUBLISHED

This week I asked my friend what she wanted for her birthday and her simple reply was she wants to go to Ibiza. Is there a sponsor out there that is willing to finance her trip? And financing her trip will give you the right to talk about her,LOL.

I don’t have a lot of friends, I have many acquaintances. I have only a handful of people I call friends or would define as a friend; I can literally count all my pals in one hand. And this is the reason why I can sleep easy at night, and yes...this is a nice way of keeping whoppings close. Because I know who knows my dirt, I can remember what I said to whom and if any of my linen is laid out on the street for the world to see- I know whose house to be showing up at in the early morning. Unfortunately many people often confuse their acquaintances for friends. And truth be told, it’s easy to make this mistake because w spend so much time with our acquaintances its insane and we end up thinking that they really care about us. WRONG.

Divas, Rule #1-you acquaintance is the person you get drunk with and have no proper mind enhancing and life changing conversations with.

A friend will challenge you to do better, challenge you mentally and spiritually so to become a better individual. Your conversations will cover everything, not a selective few topics that get annoyingly dry after a few meets.

Rule#2-Your acquaintance is the one you do not call when that man beats you upside the head.

Your friend will come and pick you up, sit in the hospital with you, watch you heal, and the only question they will ask when it is said and done is, “what you want to do about this?” In any case, your friend will not utter a word about their displeasure to anyone but you.

Rule #3- Your acquaintance is usually not your partner in any crime. No matter how big the stakes are.

Oh this one is big...I know many divas have many skeletons in the closet.*wink*.

The truth is many times the only crimes women commit in this day in time is the crime of double ditching their men, two stepping, and side stepping or cheating. And for this to go down well, you will need an alibi for your sudden nights out with the girls or whatever you want to supposedly get up to just to see your squeeze. Your alibi will be a trusted confidante and no acquaintance earns this title easy. And then the person would have to accept you as their friend knowing you do wrong. An acquaintance can never do this for you, because when the stars fall out of the sky, they do not want to be seen or smelt around you. A friend will stand by you and claim your innocence with you even if the situation is too bleak for innocence, a friend will not rat you out at the quickest opportunity they get instead your friend reprimands you privately and sets it straight.

Rule #4- your acquaintance is the one who is running around and telling people all your business. And you wonder how she or him know so much…DUH...you spend so much time with them.

Rule #4 is very important. A true and real friend will only tell your business to their shrink and who so ever they are sleeping with( because the truth is we tend to trust the men we lay next to in bed more than our friends, therefore they know exactly where you where last week instead of emgcwabeni KaLaMgabi). And because of the confusion between those who truly care for us and those who just love our company because we serve as alibis or a certain purpose in their lives, we are in the habit of telling our business to the wrong folks, and they cannot hold water even if you taped their mouths shut.

Rule #5- Your acquaintance only tells you what you NEED to hear about their lives.

Yes, you friend opens up to you, tells you things about them that are irrelevant for you to know. But you cherish this because it shows they are entrusting in you a part of them. Your acquaintance will tell you things about them that they need you to know just to keep you around and so you can further your purpose in their lives.

The point is, we use and abuse each other every day, and because of this ill practice we go through life changing “friends” like underwear because we remain blind to the fact that a friendship and a drunkship are different. We are ready to let go of friends over issues we can talk over and solve as grown women but our acquaintances do us wrong so many times yet we still smile in their faces whenever we see them and we tweet back and forth with them all day.

The truth is if you are not feeding me, financing me or laying up in me what I do is clearly none of your business. Your duty as a friend is to love and protect at all times, advice wisely and never ever talk trash about me behind my back. I know there will be times when we do not agree on the same things but I would like to believe friendship is made out of stronger things than disappointments and back stabbings. Hell, Oprah and Gayle may look happy now…but it has been a long ride and we all know it.

So what makes people think friendship or any relationship will be free sailing and all happy stress-free rollercoaster?

I have learnt my lessons and I have many more to learn. I have learnt we all need friends and acquaintances alike. I have learned to be able to tell my friends the bitter and sweet without fearing that I will lose the relationship. I have learnt to accept my friends regardless of how divalicious or gold digging they may seem to me and the world. Most important I have learnt to love me better and more than my friends can. Friends can be good teachers, the best teacher usually don’t preach, they lead by example.

Until next week Divas, keeping rocking that Pretty girl Rock

Diamonddiva4lyf@gmailcom

MARRIED PARTNER-PUBLISHED

By a show of hands how many of you have had a married partner, lover, time keeper, minister of finance or transportation?? C’mon don’t be shy, let the truth be told. LOL.

I have had so many friends ruin countless marriages, ashamed to say I have been part of that tirade. Now I’m sitting here thinking,” what on god’s green earth was that about?”  I can’t, for the life of me figure out exactly why I took part in such a dull and hurtful sport. Was it because of love or lust? Was it because I was naïve or plain stupid or living in a fantasy or was it because I like the non-pressure part of the relationship. Am I so bad that I needed to do my two stepping on a guy who was already two stepping his better half?*thinking*. Maybe it was the excitement that came with it…you know the sneaking around, fancy hotels, back of his car type thing and oh the drama that came with it-hey don’t judge me I’m just telling the truth. I still can’t figure it out. Was it because he was the hottest ticket in town at the time and so was I, that it was inevitable-we were bound to bump heads? DUH!!!With a country as big as ours, it was just a matter of time indeed. Or was it because he was afraid to reach into his pocket and spend on before he even knew I would accept his advances? Yep…it might have been his pocket that sealed the deal, lol.  It is sad because he did the chasing so technically you can’t blame me, I just received a gift looking past the fact that it was already owned by another after all we live to share, right?  WRONG.

I should have known better than to get involved with a man I knew was married but I consoled myself with the fact that his marriage was already in shambles. I ignored the fact that his marriage was in trouble because of his wandering ways. It was a onetime encounter that lasted longer than it really should have but like all things spawned out of sin, it withered away as seasons changed.

I also did not fill my head with tales of him leaving his family, I was there to simply be a friend and enjoy the benefits. It was a perfect arrangement which worked out well for all parties involved. What I did not bargain for was loving someone who had no intentions of changing his ways or behavior. He often told me that what we did was our little secret; little did I know he was bragging to his friends-not that I minded. I bet he never anticipated that the friends he bragged to would be the very ones who would try to polish my wimp! Bottom-line is his marriage ended long after we were, and we both became a distant memory in each other’s lives.  A lot of men and women have found themselves in similar situations and will continue to do so, so what I am saying to you is not new, the difference is I’m saying yes I did it.

We live in a society that says this is morally wrong, if the man keeps you as a mistress but it is right if he makes you a 2^nd or 3^rd wife. Where is the logic? Isn’t it still the same, you remain the other woman regardless. The only thing that changes is that he can continue to pursue other beauties- because we gotta love the fact that Swazis are beautiful people-while you sit at home twiddling your thumbs? So what exactly are we to do? Be a mistress in hope that you became a missus? Is that still wrong? I mean who wakes up a missus to a certain taken mister overnight? And we women want to walk around pretending that we can beat up all these little spring chickens that our husbands date, who really is in the wrong? Even worse, these young ones have started fighting over married men! LMAO. We have a lot of young divas settling to go in to polygamous relationships with men old enough to father them. And hey, I’ve been there and got the t-shirt-wore it proudly. This also applies to women; we have loads of young men settling for married older women. With that said, I’m all for love because you can’t choose where cupid will shoot his arrow, it’s one of those things we have to learn to live with.

#YouLiveAndLearn

MISSZEZY

SEX WORKING-PUBLISHED

It’s the festive season!!!!Tis the season to be jolly tralalalala lalala…so on and so forth.

It’s the season to give although I know a lot of divas just love to receive, receive and receive some more. So their hands are constantly stretched out as if they are needy or the truth is they are needy. I love women who work hard and make ends meet for themselves, there is a certain air about them that is so appealing. You know most men love women who can take care of themselves like 50 cent says,” she’s ok if I leave her, she got her own visa.”  I don’t care what you say, they do. And it’s not all women who have had the privilege to attend college or university but they are still making their paper stack up. And I love my divas that are going to college because that’s the way to go. It really doesn’t bother me how a woman makes her money, as long as she is able to take care of her and hers because nobody else will do it, I mean your man may do it for a while but trust and believe he will start complaining or taking advantage of the fact that you go to him for every little thing you need. I’m not knocking the sisters who make their money by having multiple partners at the same time…that’s their thing right now; we don’t know where they are headed or where they come from.

I have friends who are sex workers, yeah that’s right. I got a lot of respect for them. These women make more money than I do, LOL.Their are houses are paid off, their car payments are made on time, they are not behind on any bill as far as I know and when we hang out….they roll like Divas-you know the procedure. They are paying their way through school, others are saving up for that tuition, many just can’t get the job they desire right now yet those bills don’t stop coming. I don’t treat them any differently than I would my friends who have posh jobs. I also have friends who are dancers and boy can these girls work a pole!! I’m often amazed at people’s reactions when they find out what field of work they are in, more especially the female reaction. It is one of utter disgust and then the 2^nd class citizen treatment sets in; suddenly my friends are below your level just because they lay on their backs while you bend over the desk? LOL. Why do we think we are better than others today not knowing our tomorrow? What’s even stranger, they have men eating right out of their fingers. I cannot recall the number of times guys step up to them and try to run game! I’ll be the first to admit, it’s not a career I would encourage my daughter to pursue yet I cannot as a human being judge another without having walked a mile in their shoes.

These women are not proud of what they do yet they do it well just like I would any other job. They realized that they needed to survive, they relied too much on others and that did not get them to where they wanted to go, so they chose another route to get to where they are going. Just like my friend who has a tomato stall at the Mbabane bus rank, pretty little mama she is. Yet instead of chasing somebody else’s money she is making her own, no matter how small the amount is. I’ve learnt to live as non-judgmental as I possibly can and all call to account those who live their lives publicly for all of us to comment on. I’m more at awe at my friends because they do not try to hide amongst their circle what it is they do to pay their way through instead of asking for it from someone else who will most likely make them a topic over coffee. Because we women are sneaky as anything and love to backstab each other whilst we smile at one another.

Life is like a house of cards, you build what you can handle and yet it can all come crumbling down in a matter of seconds. There is a certain survival mode that any human being goes into when life takes a turn for the worst or threatens to change the way you live it. As people we handle situations differently. Others flee, others resist and others accept their fate and lay down to die.

#Survivor

MISSZEZY

NO BOYS ALLOWED-PUBLISHED

Another week has gone by and I am really not amazed by some of the divas out there.I simply do not get fazed or shocked any more, I have learnt to accept the social ills that I have no control over and mind you there is quite a bit. Some mothers do have them. I can not judge anybody because that is simply not my job but what I want to know is where has self respect disappeared to amongst our beautiful swazi divas? Where has the drive and ambition and hunger for success, to be the best in our region gone to? Where pride ourselves as having the best looking, most respectful and hardworking women but the truth is besides beauty what else do Divas have to show? A rich husband? A rich sugar daddy? A good looking boy toy? An unhealthy affair with a married man? A big beautiful condo paid for by a man  who could possibly toss you aside when it suits him?

What wrong with this picture? Every ending of a sentence there is a man involved. Now don’t get me twisted, I appreciate the role brothers play in our lives but come on!.

.What is it with us women? Why do we always assume that everyman that treats us with the slightest kindness is our Mr. do it right? I feel any smart man knows that benevolence will get him very far with any woman. The irritatingly clever ones know that compliments and ego boosters will work in their favour in the long run. The thing I fail to comprehend is why then we think that the minute Mr. Man makes his intentions clear we feel like he is it, the Don one? Isn't it just how he is supposed to behave, be nice and courteous towards you anyway?

Like I always say, cookie missions are always there and alive whether at the back of his mind or elsewhere. The idea is to try and not fall too quick for a sucker who just wants to do that, suck you. Just as we should be able to tell the difference between the ones who are solely after the cookie and the ones who would like to explore a relationship with you. The man who just wants to have a taste of your cookie will work just as hard, if not smarter than the man who wants to explore life with you as his partner. You will be lucky if he comes out straight and tells you he just wants to have a sexual relationship with you only. I personally prefer the one who comes out and tells me just what it is that he is hoping to get from me, atleast the brother gives you a heads up before the panty drops and you can decide if you want to be that sort of thing with him. Also like the one who would like for you to be his woman, he lets you know from the word go what he expects from this budding friendship and what he would like. You are also given the chance to choose if this is what you want.

We must quit thinking that if you give him the cookie he will stop wanting just a sexual relation and maybe, just maybe he will end up on your arm, exclusively. If that is not his intention, nothing you can do will change this man. You are not his mother.Ok perhaps you know a few ladies who have managed to turn a man around but truthfully speaking, that is a 50-50 situation it can go either way. He must want to change himself, he must initiate the change. All you can do is be supportive. I have learnt that a man who does not know what he wants is not worth my time. Yeah it's hard to let go of a man you so want to keep in your life but if he just wants to "kick it", he can get a soccer ball and go and kick it with his boys (that's what they are there for).Yet we must also keep it real as Divas, there are some of us who will go into something just for the sake of kicking it and passing time with the hope of great sex as well.yeah, been there myself a few times. It's emotionally wrecking yet we do it and let it be done to us too, we are just as equally accountable for the things that men do to us. We lead them on with the promise of something better yet we know very well we just want to tap that and be gone, we want that chance to scream out in pleasure and that's that. He can be dead for all you care. Oh don't deny it!! It feels good too.

We should also not forget that it takes a lifetime to really know somebody well, everyday you will learn new things about this beau, some good and others downright wrong but I guess we choose to put up with a lot of things out of the belief that we shall get past the negative. Or is it because you firmly believe in accepting flaws and all??don't get me twisted divas, accepting flaws and all is good and well so long as you do not compromise too much of your values and standards(all females should have these). So the next time this man steps to you, talking about how he knows you want to be happy and deserve the world and more, tell him what he already knows. That you know all that, he doesn't need to remind you. He must come at you with something new. Show him some brain matter PLEASE! Just don't wave a finger at his face while saying this. You can put on your best smile and smile with your eyes too (yes they smile) and be polite about it. Nothing sexier than a woman who turns a man down with style. If he is for real, you will know from his reaction to things like that. Most importantly, be yourself and protect the cookie. Do not be what society terms as easy.

Until next week, take care of you.

DiamondDiva4lyf@gmail.com

COOKIE DIARIES-PUBLISHED

What is it with us women? Why do we always assume that everyman that treats us with the slightest kindness is our Mr. do it right? I feel any smart man knows that benevolence will get him very far with any woman. The irritatingly clever ones know that compliments and ego boosters will work in their favour in the long run. The thing I fail to comprehend is why then we think that the minute Mr. Man makes his intentions clear we feel like he is it, the don one? Isn't it just how he is supposed to behave, be nice and courteous towards you anyway? Like I always say, cookie missions are always there and alive whether at the back of his mind or elsewhere. The idea is to try and not fall too quick for a sucker who just wants to do that, suck you. Just as we should be able to tell the difference between the ones who are solely after the cookie and the ones who would like to explore a relationship with you. The man who just wants to have a taste of your cookie will work just as the man who wants to explore life with you as his partner. You will be lucky if he comes out straight and tells you he just wants to have a sexual relationship with you only. I personally prefer the one who comes out and tells me just what it is that he is hoping to get from me, atleast the brother gives you a heads up before the panty drops and you can decide if you want to be that sort of thing with him. Also like the one who would like for you to be his woman, he lets you know from the word go what he expects from this budding friendship and what he would like. You are also given the chance to choose if this is what you want.

We must quit thinking that if you give him the cookie he will stop wanting just a sexual relation and maybe, just maybe he will end up on your arm, exclusively. If that is not his intention, nothing you can do will change this man. You are not his mother.Ok perhaps you know a few ladies who have managed to turn a man around but truthfully speaking, that is a 50-50 situation it can go either way. He must want to change himself, he must initiate the change. All you can do is be supportive. I have learnt that a man who does not know what he wants is not worth my time. Yeah it's hard to let go of a man you so want to keep in your life but if he just wants to "kick it", he can get a soccer ball and go and kick it with his boys (that's what they are there for).Yet we must also keep it real as Divas, there are some of us who will go into something just for the sake of kicking it and passing time with the hope of great sex as well.yeah, been there myself a few times. It's emotionally wrecking yet we do it and let it be done to us too, we are just as equally accountable for the things that men do to us. We lead them on with the promise of something better yet we know very well we just want to tap that and be gone, we want that chance to scream out in pleasure and that's that. He can be dead for all you care. Oh don't deny it!! It feels good too.

We should also not forget that it takes a lifetime to really know somebody well, everyday you will learn new things about this beau, some good and others downright wrong but I guess we choose to put up with a lot of things out of the belief that we shall get past the negative. Or is it because you firmly believe in accepting flaws and all??don't get me twisted divas, accepting flaws and all is good and well so long as you do not compromise too much of your values and standards(all females should have these). So the next time this man steps to you, talking about how he knows you want to be happy and deserve the world and more, tell him what he already knows. That you know all that, he doesn't need to remind you. He must come at you with something new. Show him some brain matter PLEASE! Just don't wave a finger at his face while saying this. You can put on your best smile and smile with your eyes too (yes they smile) and be polite about it. Nothing sexier than a woman who turns a man down with style. If he is for real, you will know from his reaction to things like that. Most importantly, be yourself and protect the cookie. Do not be what society terms as easy.

Until next week, take care of you.

LESSON LEARNED-PUBLISHED

Ladies, girls and boys. Yet another week has passed and I'm still waiting for Mr. Right to come waltzing into my life. Yes you read right, no mistakes about it. I have decided to wait until he comes along because I am tired of being lied to, giving up the cookie and off they go!! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all the cookie escapades I get up to. It's the emotional rollercoaster that comes after that tire me out.

Especially if I decide that the particular sir who gets the cookie is worth it all. Don't act so surprised, im certainly not the first and last female who has made this grave mistake

I am not going to ask for any confessions. I met a man once, he seemed like a dream-let us call him Mr. It. I mean the kind of man who seems to be all that you want, he is not perfect yet you convince yourself that as long as he doesn't cheat on you (or so you think) and give you attention, showers you with compliments and the odd gift here and there. He knows what he wants and is a straight shooter. He listens to you, keeps you captivated, wants to take you away and spoil you. Not to mention the cookie business. Brother man has your toes curling and you cussing out all things? Yes. That type of man.

I fell head over heels- hook, line and sinker. All the way to the bank and back. He had me smiling from sunrise to sunset for no reason. Looking back, this man had me right where he wanted me, he is the corporate brother who doesn't mind doing it all just for his game. He is willing to spend a small fortune on you just and keep you interested enough for you to think he likes you or has plans for the two of you, that way when he wants a bit of the cookie you give it up with no questions or qualms. He will do it all.

Mr. It wormed his little vile self into my space; he was so calculating that everything I had previously thought of men was thrown out the window. I even started listening to silly main stream love songs!!!Does this sound familiar?

You see, Mr. it never said I love you, he used to disappear for a day or two even a week and come back and give me such a good explanation or reason that being mad at him for longer made me look stupid.

We made plans for a life together, how we would spend time, have fun and share a life filled with love and laughter.togather. Then came the cruch, making the big decisions. We lived apart, far from each other so in order for us to make the cut something had to give or should I say someone had to pack and go to the other side of town. Naturally as the woman I volunteered (big mistake).

You need to understand that as women we function and operate based on emotions, how we feel. Men on the other hand are pragmatic, you can't change this.

I shifted every focus and plan; I put some on hold, made new ones, and looked for jobs at my new proposed location. Alert my circle of trust (close friends and relatives), worked towards tying up a few loose ends.

You see the mistake I was making here? I was planning everything around Mr. It; I was letting him being my aim! I trusted this man with my future. The one thing you should never trust anybody with let alone a man who isn't married to you.

I ignored all the tell tale signs. I built on the positives never weighing out the truth of the situation. The cookie taking/getting was too good to ignore, it played a huge role too. To him, it was a convenient way to get laid(yes I said it),there was always someone there to keep him company when he wasn't too busy or was bored or tired of socializing with his friends because as soon as they were there, he was nowhere to be heard. Looking back now, I should have never let Mr. it be the reason for a major life change, should have never wholly emotionally depended on him- I understand that is hard to do all this when you think you feel love for someone yet this heart wrenching and energy drenching experience taught me to use my head more often than not, even in matter of the heart. To always remain in control and in check of me and how I feel. It taught me to be a little selfish.

Lesson learned.

Diamonddiva4lyf@gmail.com

SWALLOWING-PUBLISHED

Hello DIIIVVVAAAASSSS!!!

2011 is still brand new and I know all of you are still caught up in your resolutions and pushing strong-good for y’all. Some of you have resolved to step up your diva game this year, some of you want to get of that gold digging truck and hop on the platinum digging plane…its cool, we all have dreams and goals. Just as I shared mine last week. It’s now time to put them into action and see them through. It’s hard but not impossible divas of mine.

Some divas have also resolved that they want to turn people out. I can’t blame them, after this past few months, I am more than convinced all man have a gay fantasy. Ok, go ahead and kill me right now. The truth will remain that men love to hate gays because they are scared that somewhere inside of them, there is a little gay boy screaming for heaven and earth because he is tired of being trapped in a dark closet. Plus it has been scientifically proven that a man’s g-spot is right up his behind, and they don’t seem to mind when you perform the rimming ritual on them and some will go as far as asking you to perform fisting.

 And then, what about the ones who actually try to have anal intercourse with their female partners? Let me rephrase… the ones who beg their partners for anal intercourse, what about them? How do we begin to understand such desires from a so-called “straight” man? Damn curiosity, the buck must stop somewhere. Does it really make a difference whose anal passage it belongs to, I mean after all the person is bent over and you can’t see their faces, LOL. So why would a straight guy who vows he is not gay want to perform a gay act of intimacy with you as a woman? If he was given the opportunity in a dark alley somewhere in Jozi with an openly gay man, would his desires not overcome him? Then he would come back to Swaziland screaming obscenities at our openly gay divas?

I’m confused, what is it about homosexuality that just shuts people’s brains down?

This past holiday season I watched in awe as a close friend of mine, who happens to be gay, prowled bars and clubs. It was like a bad scene from a drag queen movie. I was balled over by the number of men who love to get head! Oh come on, don’t you act like you don’t know what head is. You know, dick sucking, blow job, kissing the snake, lick a lollipop, and bite the cucumber, peeling the banana, visiting downtown…whatever you want to call it. Its still head.

I found out that the single most erotic thing you could EVER offer any man, rich or poor, is head. Just go between his legs, and kneel before him, you will see he will have this bewildered look on his face and he will come short of pushing your head towards his little man direction. I don’t care if he told you he did not like that stuff or he has never tried it and couldn’t be bothered with it, the truth is once you give him a taste and you keep your teeth out of the way, he will be back. *wink*

Most men would pass up sexual intercourse just for good head. And good head is hard to find. So all your Divas who thought you had some game, you better revisit your instruction manual because these gay divas got GAME. I will tell you right now, you can’t compete with a dude when it comes to a blow job. That diva has been giving head since shim was 10 years old and you waited until you were at least 18, LOL. So with that said shim’s mouth has not been around the block but just has better skills than you.

Shim has learnt not to put hierms teeth in the way. So that the receiver doesn’t feel like his manhood is constantly being sawed at. Shim has learnt not only to suck at the manhood and use hierms tongue to play with it, but has learnt to lick it too. She has learnt to play with all the other devices that come with the package and lick them too. Shim doesn’t look at a blow job as a task, something to do to get the ball rolling but rather shim does it like shim is at the Olympics of pleasure and is going for gold baby! Shim has learnt to tell when the brother is about to reach his breaking point and most importantly, shim has learned not to get up and run to the bathroom or look for the nearest cup after the man disposes of his liquids in shim’s mouth. Yes ladies, shim has learnt to SWALLOW!

That is why so many of our men would and will get a blowie from a gay guy. At some point it matters not the gender of the person between your knees just as long as they are doing what they are supposed to be doing right. Just as long as that snake gets to spit out some venom.

And that is what happened in every bar or club my friend went into, he would notice men looking at him funny but as soon as he put his game on, after a drink or two, our so called straight guy was ready to visit the loo for a quick round of lollipop licking.

Have you ever seen the look in the eye of a man whose poison has just been swallowed? You will walk out of that room a queen and him…a drooling puppy. Smile.

I respect all my divas that swallow because I know that can’t be easy, but for a split second you completely put your partners need to brag first.

It doesn’t make you any less of a person than you already are.

These divas have no shame in their game!

Let me know what’s up at DiamondDiva4lyf@gmail.com

HAPPY NEW YEAR-PUBLISHED

Thank the Lord 2010 is finally

over with! I’m thorough

with that DRAMA

mama.

Although I learnt something

spectacular about myself,

maybe let me say I only

fully recognized and embraced

it in the past year. All

my life I have heard people

telling me that I’m special,

that I’m a go getter, that I

simply just do. So I as I go

into the new year, I will carry

that attitude, that I am capable

of doing whatever it is

I really want to do. It has

something to do with walking

in faith.

It is 2011-breath, nothing

much has changed except the

number of which year it is.

You still have to get up and

go to work, you still have to

pay rent and your bills, I still

have deadlines to meet, I still

have therapy to attend, we

are still all trying to win the

lottery, my hair is still falling

out, you still need to lose

weight-smile, you are still

figuring out how to pay for

your house, you will still

choose a man with money

over a nigga who doesn’t have

any, you will still try to make

all the A-List parties in town,

you will still hate on her because

she went and got that car

that you like, you will still gossip

and talk trash about other

just for the sake of it, you will

still get shamelessly drunk and

end up on whispers or seen n

heard or rather in some random

guy’s bed (yea we know that’s

true), you will still talk big as

if you got something but we all

know you just living lavish

with no safe net, I will still cry,

I will still feel hurt, I will still

hustle and yes you will not get

a pay rise this year because the

economy is messed up….and

the list goes on and on.

All I want for this new year

are just simply things I know I

can achieve myself without

leaning on another to get me

there…don’t get me wrong-I

will accept help when it avails

itself but I will not go out of

my way to get it when I believe

I can do it myself.

1)

than I did in the year that

has gone by- I started

working hard late in

2010 … and I saw the

amazing results of hard

work too late. I’m

starting early.

Of course with hard

work comes a lot of

sacrifices but I’ve started

so it won’t be a major

change-yes I choose not

to have a social life.

Taking small steps

towards my big picture.

This year, for me, is all

about carving out that

path, setting direction for

the ship to sail.

I will work harder

2)

more

I will read a little bit

3)

to stay in shape….I’m

aiming for a flat tummy,

toned thighs, firmer butt,

stronger arms

I will exercise a lot more

4)

again (I will not catch up

with Timothy Maurice

Webster yet I will run

anyway-lol)

I will learn how to run

5)

sugar, no bread, and no

rice. This proved to be

hurdle for me in 2010

but I’m not discouraged.

These are my personal goals

for 2011. There are things that

are not on this list yet get to be

on top- I will be a better mother

in any way that I can, I will be

more understanding, forgiving

and loving as a sister, a friend,

a cousin, a stranger, a counselor,

a daughter and a niece.

I’m still going to be

fabulozethy….smile.

There are many things I will

have to learn and practice on a

spiritual level and those are the

things I truly believe will add

value into my life. These are

the things that I believe add

value to everybody’s life and

should be our ultimate goals.

I’m not going to say things

will be different for you this

year; i’m not going to hype you

up. You still have ups and

downs, what I really hope you

do this year is try to change the

little things that you can that

make you a better person. I

hear lots of people complaining

about drama in their livesthe

true question is what are

you doing to minimize that?

Divas out there want to spend

money like its growing on trees

or they held up a bank but the

truth is whose money are you

spending? What hideous acts

of moral sin are you committing

in order for you to spend

that money? Is it really

worth it? This year let that

be your question when you

embark on any adventure,

whether work related or for

pleasure. Ask yourself, is

this worth it? If the answer

is yes it is, then go for it but

if you cannot answer that

question honestly to yourself,

like I always say, “Keep

it tracking”.

I wish that you will pursue

that dream or goal that you

have been putting off due to

various reasons, my hope is

that you learn what makes

you happy and not so joyous.

My sincere wish is that you

achieve most of what you

have set out to achieve this

year. We are never too old to

learn, to dream and to

achieve. So whoever told

you it was

impossible….prove yourself

wrong. Hard work never

goes out of fashion and it

certainly will not be the case

this year.

DiamondDiva4lyf@gmail.comI will continue eat less

DAMAGED-PUBLISHED

I fell in love once. I was like a little

girl in a candy store, you couldn’t

tell me nothing. I saw the world in

colour-bright and warm. I was like

a platinum visa card that had no

limit; I was an astronaut on a tour

of space. Suddenly my dreams

where within reach! I had no reason

to be in a bad vibe … my heart was

smiling and my soul fulfilled.

This love was like a shade in the

harsh summer months on the vineyards

in Stellenbosch. I was on a

personal all expenses paid cruise

of the Caribbean! I walked tall and

felt 10 feet tall. I was invincible in

the battle of Troy!

Then reality sunk in so coldly and

uncompromising, not concerned

with the wave of powerful emotion

I felt. In a matter of an hour, I saw

my incredible bouquet of love

whither right in the middle of spring!

I felt breathless, I had a sharp pain

in my stomach, I tried not to cry but

the tears were there just flowing

down my rosy cheeks. They

wouldn’t stop so at some point I let

out a harrowing scream because it

felt like the world had come to a

shattering end and I was not prepared.

I felt weak without this feeling,

I vowed never to let another

have that part of me. I refuse to fix

it - it is perfect in its broken state. I

have swept up the pieces and put

them in my special box of memories

and carried on as if it never happened

but the thing is I can’t play

the pretend game everyday. There

will be days when I look back and

feel the love and the cold stare of

heartache at the same time and I will

again crumble.

Nobody ever prepares us for heartache;

no one certainly ever told me

how to handle it.

Love comes easy, staying in love

is rather another story. We are often

told that love can weather any storm

but really we discover the contrary,

we learn that love is easily custom

made into wants and needs of the

people who are in the relationship.

We dream of a selfless love yet practice

the direct opposite of a love that

is filled with doubts and no beliefs,

a love that is selfish. I want to experience

the unconditional love that

knows no distance nor time, the love

that heals and repairs, a love that will

build me up and encourage me to

face my fears … a patient love that

will see no end. Perhaps a deep and

profound friendship is what we seek

at the end … somebody who is not

there to judge us but to accept us

even when it hurts to accept some

of us, somebody who will look you

in the eyes and say, “If you are willing

to go through this fire, I’ll go

through it with you”. This type of

love is not an illusion-I believe it

exists it is just that we settle for what

comes close to it (and that is ok) and

often times we are too scared to love

so hard and we have many excuses

as to why we cant love so hard and

strong.

I’ve seen, touched, felt and tasted

this sweet fountain of pleasurable

love. I’ve lay next to it, looked it in

the eyes, held its hand and tried to

find ways to perfect myself to be

more for it. In trying to perfect my

ways I realized that this love loved

me just as I were, that this love only

wanted me to grow and find myself

in my own path and time. This love

was content with the human being

that I am and was looking forward to

my journey of self discovery. Then

did it slip away? Because heartache

finds you no matter what high you

are on.-smile.

The thing about heartache is it

never ceases to be painful or hurtful

no matter how thick your skin is or

how much of it have you had. Losing

a loved one either through death

or a broken relationship is painful,

even if you invested as little as possible

time in that particular relationship.

Pain is pain; hurt is hurt even

in its various degrees. Just like anger.

We tell ourselves that it doesn’t

matter even if the man or woman

you are with walks out of your life

and decides that your relationship

isn’t worth his or her energy anymore,

we continue to fool ourselves

that we are stronger than that, that it

will be just dirt of our shoulder and

we willfully move on unto the next.

Moving on is possible in time yet

I’ve come to learn that if you really

and truly and deeply held the

other party close to your heart, and

you were determined to be your

best so that they may have the best

then you pain will surely be unimaginable

and time may seem like

a curse. The truth is when you find

somebody who isn’t looking for

you to be perfect, who loves you

past your pain, emotional, physical,

psychological and spiritual

scares-that’s the person who is your

worth your last dime!

So, listen carefully to what a person

says they want. If you do not

feature on their “want” list, save

yourself the time and some degree

of pain and keep stepping. yeah I

know it hurts and its hard to let go

of somebody you are in love with

but perhaps one day they will return

to you, if it was meant to be.

*wink*

IMITATIONS-published

I hate imitations!!

A woman, who prides herself on carrying an imitation of any sort, be it a hand bag or shoes or clothes is not keeping it real but instead keeping up an appearance she obviously cannot afford! urgh! I understand the need to look good but lose my bearings on the point of feeling good wearing or carrying a not so real piece of material, then to top it all off, to brag about it like it the real deal! I’m sick of knock offs. I must admit I was committing this heinous and I still do *wink*. Yet I find myself looking like a fool each time I do because I feel everybody around me knows I’m carrying an imitation of Prada. Why can’t I be content with my little limited budget that allows me not to buy this luxury? Why do I choose to impress my girlfriends and haters at the cost of my living? Why can’t I just walk in to a low-cost store and pick an amazingly gorgeous bag and pay my lousy hundred bucks and keep it stepping? Why does the man I’m with have to give me his hard earned cash so I can satisfy a silly fetish for imitation, because just as anything is addictive even living on knock offs is an addiction. I spend loads of money trying to fit into this world *hahaha*. I’m a sucker for fashion, rather I’m hell bent on impressions and I like to give the impression that I can afford quality and style,ROTFL. It’s a constant battling trying to be me because I’m too busy trying to keep up with the Joneses, who for that matter can afford all this. Even my don’t care attitude really doesn’t suffice on this matter because I go to bed with myself at night knowing  my fashion crimes *smile* It’s a constant battling trying to be me because I’m too busy trying to keep up with the Joneses, who for that matter can afford all this. Even my don’t care attitude really doesn’t suffice on this matter because I go to bed with myself at night knowing my fashion crimes.

I know all this because I’ve been a spectator and participant for both teams. It is amazing what we woman are capable of doing to one another in full blown war like schemes all over who carries the latest collection of L.V or who wears the real makoya.  Even though we know the real makoya don’t come cheap. Is swagger really that important? I see a lot of nods.

I do not want to see the bank statements of some of some divas out there, all in the name of fashion. I’m not judging anyone because I know we live in a materialistic society that encourages us to be plastic fantastic! Others don’t even own bank accounts or have real jobs but they are active participants of the knock off exercise *hahaha*, mind you, we know what they get up to *wink*. Hey it’s not a crime to keep a man just because his money is long and strong just as long as you know who you are and where you are going with all that mess. What bothers me most about knock offs is the fact of how it reflects on me or you. What does carrying a knock off proudly say to the very same society you are trying to please about you? Doesn’t it give them the impression that you are fake just like those knock off Jimmy choos you got on? Ok, let’s forget the world for a minute. What about that finer than china dude who rocks your boat? Must he too think you are cheap just like that imitational bag? Are you imitating to be in the fashion buzz or imitating to be alive? How would a knock off baby be able to keep it real because all she/he knows fong kongs?

 I am a beautiful woman who loves to walk out her goodies because I know people are watching and it does wonders for my ego. I put up my swagger to a thousand gazillions just so they can whisper about me like they know me yet that imitation I carry kills my look!!! Alas, the imitation war will continue for years to come. Those who can and can’t will compete for many more seasons to come, what I will do is excuse myself from the game and spectate once again. Or perhaps I’ll save up enough mulla to actually walk into a luxury fashion store and act up!

#TRUESTORY

By MISSZEZY