Ladies, girls and boys. Yet another week has passed and I'm still waiting for Mr. Right to come waltzing into my life. Yes you read right, no mistakes about it. I have decided to wait until he comes along because I am tired of being lied to, giving up the cookie and off they go!! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all the cookie escapades I get up to. It's the emotional rollercoaster that comes after that tire me out.
Especially if I decide that the particular sir who gets the cookie is worth it all. Don't act so surprised, im certainly not the first and last female who has made this grave mistake
I am not going to ask for any confessions. I met a man once, he seemed like a dream-let us call him Mr. It. I mean the kind of man who seems to be all that you want, he is not perfect yet you convince yourself that as long as he doesn't cheat on you (or so you think) and give you attention, showers you with compliments and the odd gift here and there. He knows what he wants and is a straight shooter. He listens to you, keeps you captivated, wants to take you away and spoil you. Not to mention the cookie business. Brother man has your toes curling and you cussing out all things? Yes. That type of man.
I fell head over heels- hook, line and sinker. All the way to the bank and back. He had me smiling from sunrise to sunset for no reason. Looking back, this man had me right where he wanted me, he is the corporate brother who doesn't mind doing it all just for his game. He is willing to spend a small fortune on you just and keep you interested enough for you to think he likes you or has plans for the two of you, that way when he wants a bit of the cookie you give it up with no questions or qualms. He will do it all.
Mr. It wormed his little vile self into my space; he was so calculating that everything I had previously thought of men was thrown out the window. I even started listening to silly main stream love songs!!!Does this sound familiar?
You see, Mr. it never said I love you, he used to disappear for a day or two even a week and come back and give me such a good explanation or reason that being mad at him for longer made me look stupid.
We made plans for a life together, how we would spend time, have fun and share a life filled with love and laughter.togather. Then came the cruch, making the big decisions. We lived apart, far from each other so in order for us to make the cut something had to give or should I say someone had to pack and go to the other side of town. Naturally as the woman I volunteered (big mistake).
You need to understand that as women we function and operate based on emotions, how we feel. Men on the other hand are pragmatic, you can't change this.
I shifted every focus and plan; I put some on hold, made new ones, and looked for jobs at my new proposed location. Alert my circle of trust (close friends and relatives), worked towards tying up a few loose ends.
You see the mistake I was making here? I was planning everything around Mr. It; I was letting him being my aim! I trusted this man with my future. The one thing you should never trust anybody with let alone a man who isn't married to you.
I ignored all the tell tale signs. I built on the positives never weighing out the truth of the situation. The cookie taking/getting was too good to ignore, it played a huge role too. To him, it was a convenient way to get laid(yes I said it),there was always someone there to keep him company when he wasn't too busy or was bored or tired of socializing with his friends because as soon as they were there, he was nowhere to be heard. Looking back now, I should have never let Mr. it be the reason for a major life change, should have never wholly emotionally depended on him- I understand that is hard to do all this when you think you feel love for someone yet this heart wrenching and energy drenching experience taught me to use my head more often than not, even in matter of the heart. To always remain in control and in check of me and how I feel. It taught me to be a little selfish.
Lesson learned.
Diamonddiva4lyf@gmail.com
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