What do you really want?

There is nothing more irritating or putting off than a man who has zero aspirations, is content with working the same job he has held for over 5 years with no promotion in sight. He’s not inspired to dibble and dabble in other things, a man who seems comfortable and is not looking for a change or new opportunities.

This man is not a hunter (yes because in the rules of nature men are the hunters). So when a man stops hunting for more meatier and fresh game and is content feasting on that same old skinny gazelle he caught 5 years ago it can only mean 2 things;

ü  He has NOT sharpened or practiced his hunting skills

ü  Because of number 1, going out in the world and hunting down your game when all the others around you are already feasting on buffalo is scary.

All this can breed bitterness in a man, making him incapable of making his woman happy or making his woman happy and everybody else miserable. There’s an aura of unhappiness about this type of dude it’s like he doesn’t see in color anymore, everything is in black and white. He has limited his mind to be open to possibilities simple because he is too lazy to create his own. This is the same guy who is quick to kill your dream and steal your idea at the same time. This man hates to see people “make it”. And it applies to us women too, we have women whore content sitting on their behinds and letting it roll in.

Nothing in this world comes rushing to you. You have to work for it.

Just like how a millionaire marries some blonde form farm-where you don’t even have a clue what that girl had to do to be noticed by a man who has many women running towards him.

And isn’t it strange how the uninspired lot always ends up with a diva who just loves the smell of money or high living? So this lazy man is actually forced (possibly for the first time in his life) to think of other ways to hunt.LOL.

Oh come on y’all, don’t act like you’ve never seen this in motion. Where a woman is placing an invisible mountain of pressure on her man to provide more. I like to look at it as not being pressure but a woman demanding that her man claim his place in the cycle of nature and hunt.

Do not get it twisted ladies and gents, let me take y’all to school for a little bit. There is a difference between a job, occupation and a career. And this next bit affects the professionals and not the BEE or new money kids on the block because that’s a different kind of science all together.

Often the terms job, occupation, and career are used interchangeably. In fact, they have very different meanings. A job is work for which you receive pay. Example: biologist at XYZ Biotical Company who earns $8000.00 a month.

An occupation is a wide category of jobs with similar characteristics. Example: physician, engineer, educator, or scientist.

A career is a lifetime journey of building and making good use of your skills, knowledge and experiences. It is the total of all events and relationships in our lives: family, friends, and education, work, and leisure activities.

And where you “work at” is somewhere you spend time until you figure out exactly what it is that you want to do with yourself.

It is safe to say that a majority of people never really think of this before they get into a relationship with somebody? Is it fair to say that the men and women who often are interested in this type of information are considered too serious to be dated, or too focused? There truth is it is no longer enough to just go about dating individuals who aren’t even sure of themselves, practically no defined direction or path. This separates the winners from the losers or those come in last. In some instances, it’s easier to say it doesn’t matter how fast or quick you get there but the reality of it is that as life progresses and we get older we lose the vicious tenacity we once had if we don’t have any personal achievements; we become content with that skinny gazelle when we too could have a buffalo. Do you follow?

The sooner you get into hunting, the better results you will yield as you learn.

There’s just no way a 42 year old man can compete for a job with a 25 year old man. Where has this older man been? Where are his peers in the same occupation?

This is why I tell my women and men friends to learn to demand more from the man/woman they are dating. You don’t have to be a millionaire in an X amount of time, but have a plan of progress, things may not always happening according to plan, but planning helps you to stay focused.

It’s not a crime to ask a guy what his five year plan is career-wise.

Explain to him that this 5 year plan, has nothing to do with you two getting married or having kids but you want to know where he sees himself in 5 years, he must be at least be able to visualize this. He may have a job but he must aspire to be more than just a sales clerk.

I know a man in my family who went from being sales assistant to managing director of an international brand company because he had a woman who demanded more from him educationally and skill-wise. He worked his sales job and went to school; there was constant change in his life with regards work. And as he nears retirement he can sit in his big spacious office, drive his upper-class vehicles, spend time with his beautiful wife and watch his children win just like he did.

 Divas, shims, flamingos and it’s, I will tell you today that there is a huge difference between working a job, occupation and career. Here a few ways to get started:

Five Principles for Career Planning

Change is Constant

We change constantly and so does the world around us – including the working world. Because a single occupation will no longer take us from the beginning to the end of our working lives, adaptability is an important skill to carry into the future.

Learning is Ongoing

Graduating from high school or college doesn’t mean that your education is complete. Opportunities to learn are everywhere!

Learn to recognize them and make your learning a lifelong experience.

Focus on the Journey

Traveling through life is like traveling down a road: having a destination gives direction, but most of the time is spent moving along. Pay attention to the journey with all its pitfalls, sidetracks, opportunities, and highways to new destinations.

Follow Your Heart

Dreaming about your future can help you understand what you really want in life. Knowing what you want and keeping it in your mind can give you the motivation you need to deal with life’s challenges. Never be afraid to dream.

Access Your Allies

The journey of life is not taken alone. Friends, family, teachers, neighbors – any of them can be willing and helpful allies when it comes to judging what steps to take in life’s path.

DiamondDiva

To date him or just s.e.x him?

Dating has been a game that people partake in to yield certain results. People date for many various reasons. Others date because they are passing time, others because they are afraid of being alone, others because they are hoping to meet someone who will be close to what they want, others date to get laid.

Whatever you reasons for dating are; it is important to know and keep in mind your goal for the whole exercise because wandering around aimlessly in the dating game will drain you out. It takes a lot of energy and time to be somebody’s else’s half. And you don’t want to be worn out before you meet your one. Also, don’t mistake dating for sex. Dating and sleeping with are separate terms.

The “ancient” institution of dating meant that we go on several dates, hardly ever kiss on those dates, and might hold hands, plenty of conversation, eye contact. This meant by the time you have been on numerous dates, you would be ready to know whether or not you would be connecting physically with that said individual. A physical connection was one of those things that were on both y’all minds but it wasn’t THEE priority. It was on the to-happen list. You both knew you wanted to get laid but you also knew it would happen so why rush. Emotions were given time to grow, dislikes to be found, flaws to be accepted. I know this sounds really old school and many have confused what men should be doing and said it’s just plain romantic. WRONG. What’s really romantic about something that is standard procedure? Ok…getting you flowers when you least expect them is romantic, but a man taking you on a date, calling you, texting you, talking to you because you are dating is NOT romantic. Its standard procedure divas don’t get it twisted.

The “modern-day” institution of dating has kind of kept the outline of the game but changed the principles. All in the name of “empowering female sexuality”. What in the world is that? Can somebody please shine a light on this pathetic excuse to get women to drop panties faster than dying flies?

Why do women have to sell themselves short to get a man? I, for one, certainly don’t think this is necessary simply because there are enough dicks to go around for everybody. *SMILE*

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking women who go out there looking to get laid by the blue collar brother in his dark navy Armani suit standing at the bar drinking his beer and smelling great. I don’t blame them. There is a difference between the women who don’t care to lay down with a different man every other weekend, because that is simply all they want and we all have the choice and power to do whatever we want with our cookies, and the women who are actually looking for something more solid, more meaningful, more stable than just sexual intercourse (especially since we can never be too sure if the sex will be worth giving yourself away too easily anyway.LOL).

And knowing that you are ready for something more than a fun weekend out comes with maturity, let’s also keep in mind that as much as maturity is supposed to come with age, it doesn’t. Divas out there are grown and beautiful women but still want to chase the elusiveness of a thrill, forgetting that these young swaggalicious divas are taking over. The younger they get, the more exciting it is for some of these pimps out here. That’s the truth. Men have a fetish for pretty young things. And no amount of Botox or silicon can get your youth glow back.

He may not actually go out and do something with a young one, but trust me he’s looking a fantasizing.

Ok, let me back track, when you meet someone; in less than 10 minutes you already know whether or not you want to have a relationship with that person or just shag.

The whole date thing just becomes a formality in view that you both have to get a better glimpse of each other’s minds (because you checked each other out well when you met anyway).

Some people would rather skip the “getting to know you better” part, and we all have different reasons. This is like a taking a short cut and all I can say is if you take a short cut you will get cut short.

 It’s as simple as that.

Think of it this way, here is this man you are totally enamored with and he could be getting laid another woman but he is choosing to wait a little while longer out of respect of your wishes. Isn’t that the fuzziest thing you will ever feel? Just by that alone, you have laid a solid foundation for respect in the relationship. There is nothing independent or strong spirited by sleeping with a man on the first night they meet him or within 3days.It is just plain old EASY and who wants easy? You would have given this man every reason not to respect you or your values. Oh yes, each time he dogs you out he will be thinking about how easy you were. Why then should he stick around or have an ounce of respect for you because you already gave him the prize quicker than a mouse will jump on cheese.

Let the character of man be more important than what he can bring to the table. It’s about the principality of the whole situation divas. Know your value and values.

Do not mistake “dating” for “sleeping with”. These are completely different.

Power to the girl who dated a few guys before she chose the one with whom she believed would be right for her to be in relationship with, regardless of the fact that it didn’t work out best in the end.

More power to the women who manage to sleep with all the guys who take them on dates, I just want to know if she even knows who she is at the end of it all. Or is she living in a fantasy world and sleeps better at night because she thinks she is sexually liberal? (See the fancy terms they have for abhorrent behaviors).

The truth is many men enjoy “the chase” and a man who is sincere about wanting you to be a part of life no matter the time span will wait. And just because he is waiting it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want it or he isn’t going to try and get it every opportunity that presents it.

I am in no way saying that women need to be ice-queens and be cold. Show the man that you have your eyes on that you are deadly interested in him but don’t give him a red light district show while you at it. Divas, y’all need to get creative with this stuff, it isn’t rocket science, flirt, be polite, be presentable, look good. Find out what this man is into. If it means you have to sit there and watch Aljazeera…let it be. As much as men are a visual creatures, they find an element of sexy in a woman who has the ability to use her head every once in a while.

You know why most fellas won’t tell the truth about all this? Because they are benefitting from this lie. And any benefit is better than nothing, it’s not on them.

DiamondDiva

Silent existance

The moment you are not afraid to offend anyone with your words regardless of how sharp or blunt they may seem. The more sense of freedom you will feel. It is a truly exhilarating feeling to address head-on the issues you may feel strongly about. Bite your tough for no one.

A closed mouth doesn’t and never has been fed.

 And actually the more you keep stuff inside and never let it rip…you don’t let the people around you know who you are. And you are further giving people the leverage to continue taking the Mickey out of you and complaining doesn’t help because you let people treat you the way you allow them, through fear or otherwise. Fear is just an empty illusion that is manifested in our minds; we make it bigger than it really is.

 As a DIVA, you have to understand that being a diva isn’t just about how you swag or how good a fashionista you are, being a diva has to go with the attitude and how you carry yourself.

When I say attitude, it’s the air of confidence and grace that a woman exudes, her demand for respect even before she speaks, her ability to grab your attention with her words.

A real DIVA just doesn’t throw out incoherent ramblings just to be heard, she chooses wisely where and how to state her piece; she can gut you like a fish and make you feel loved at the same time. She won’t hold your feelings against you, just as long as you know.

A real DIVA, in all her couture, speaks her mind without a hint of remorse. She confidently says exactly what is on her mind, as politely and as respectful as can be but her tone lets all around know that she means business.

A real DIVA will not publicly humiliate you. For a DIVA to do that, it just means you didn’t heed her warnings and you laid your bed to sleep in it.

A real DIVA doesn’t need to get loud to get heard. She simply lays it down and leaves it to you to accept, embrace or reject. But she won’t go back on what she said.

A real DIVA knows when to remain silent too. Not silent because she is afraid to speak, but silent because silence is another tool to state your mind or position on any issue. She can silently let her opinion be known. DIVA on POWER.

It takes a courageous and brave person to be able to state your mind even when you know there will be a backlash; it takes a strong individual not to be battered by the opinions and comments of others, privately or publicly, to the point of backing down and remaining silent. To remain defiant in your beliefs even when it seems you are going against the tide… that is DIVA on another level.

When you open your mouth and speak your mind, you lay the law about who are, what you will or not accept and want you want. People will know how far to push and when to stop pushing your buttons. You don’t have to be loud, but speak your truth. Just remember that whatever  comes out of your mouth, whether you like it or not’ will be used a window into your heart, mind and inner self, also respect and keep in mind the Law Of Attraction, this is extremely important. We attract what we emit or give out. So think and speak positive as much as you can. Build your mansion and not your dungeon. Never let another Diva dictate who you are through judging your actions and statements. They don’t know your story and are not part of your journey so the bottom-line is unless they have been there; they can zip it and kindly sit down before they are pushed down.

A nice girl always gets to play the mat. And we all love mats to rub off the shit below our shoes, the mat that gets dirty and nobody bothers to wash.

I would rather prefer to be called mean or rude because frankly most of the time when you call a spade a spade, that is exactly how you will be labeled. Very few will call you a straight-talker. I also do recognize the many demeaning remarks uttered in the name of straight talk, as people we must be wise enough to recognize and distinguish between the thin lines of straight talk and disrespect.

Do not let yourself be exposed as an imbecile.

Another thing people have to distinguish between is directly associating your thoughts, however expressed, with something linking to your life. Are you confused yet?

The art of a thinker is one who can express an opinion and address it in the 1^st person as opposed to secondary or third. This way, already they have played with your mind. Do you have the ability to distance the person who said “fuck the police” away from this statement and look at what is going on in the community that may have led them to utter such a statement?

Does your brain hurt?

If you read somewhere that a certain individual said, “Is sex in the morning really worth the effort”, would you assume that they were talking about themselves or just merely posing a question?

This is what unfortunately social networking has done to the minds of countless people in the world.

It has taken away the ability for one to draw several conclusions form a statement before accepting it as “generally” as many may do. It has robbed people of basic mental exercises and left many bare in the English grammar spelling departments.

It has single handedly spoon fed hundreds, and this has led me to wonder if these certain individuals where indeed dim to begin with and social sites have just exposed their mentality or their failure to separate compound statements is an influence from other things? Or does it simply address the different approaches that people take to different things.

Recognize the art of a beautiful mind forcing you to actually think. Do not box it just so you are comfortable with not looking beyond.

I fail to understand how a sense of analysis and reasoning has left some people just because of what is said on face book or twitter; it’s like taking Jay-z’s lyrics literally when we all know he is a figurative rapper for majority of the time. When Hova says, “top down in the winter coz that’s what winners do” do you really think that’s exactly what he means or has he pushed you to look behind the castle he has built with words and dissect it to get to the real meaning of what he’s saying. Or am I taking HOVA’s words way to seriously or far?

So it is, when a real DIVA talks, pay attention to the finer details of what she is saying.

Your great moment of actually gaining wisdom may be missed simply because you refuse to let your mind be free.

DiamondDiva

In the head of a female

We all know that life is usually based on competition no matter how subtle it may seem.

Competition is alive and well at every corner and every passing moment of one’s life. The only difference is how seriously one takes it and do you actually go out with your mind set on crashing some competition. *wink*.

Ladies, Divas, shims ET all…you all know what I’m saying.

Whether you are competing with a peer, friend, relative, co-worker, foe or complete stranger- it’s still a competition.

As women, we compete at every little thing. We will even go to the extent of borrowing ( I don’t want to say thief, as much as that is what it is) another Diva’s style now commonly known as Swag and put out name on it just so we can fit the part. Women will break and stretch their budgets just to fit in another woman’s image (if you are balling on a budget you don’t  have to try so hard to stand out, just blend in- it’s the recession, we smart ones understand). Women do more hating then congratulating. The competition amongst women is an illusion that we have created the “shoe game”.

And oh yes, we all want to be that bad ass at the party or dinner who wore a shoe for most of the want to-be-diva to get green eyed about. And you know what’s crazy; when a woman rocks a great shoe- she knows it. She’s not looking for people to come right out and say it she’s not looking for complements because she already knows a majority of the women in that party are slowly simmering in envy. Yes if you throw out a little complement she will accept it as politely as she can. This diva will switch her ass-less behind and tiny hips right to left and toss her weave back whenever she can and cross her legs in a manner in which her shoes will be flossed well just so you can notice. This girl doesn’t even have to dance; she can just grab a couch and let all the other women fall over themselves. and we know only too well what other women will be thinking when they see this devious scheme to steal attention, they basically won’t have anything nice to say about her unless they are trying to get the name of the store she bought her partner in crime from and how much it’ll set them back for. She doesn’t even have to have a Kim Kardashian body, she doesn’t have to wear a “ devil in a blue dress’ number, all she has to do is wear anything that will bring more attention to the shoe, whether it’s the color, shape or form.

This woman who prides herself in her shoe game is not to be messed with in this department, because you will always come up short. You may make it look cute and sexy, but she makes it grown, sexy and classy. She’s 2-steps ahead of you and knows it.

She pimps it not so you can love it but so you can hate it.

Right after the shoe game, we have the killer body competition; this competition is open to all. Why? Because if you really put you mind to it and addressed the certain areas of your body you would love to see putting you all the way up there on the list of “body to die for” and you work hard at it; you could do it. Oh and throw in a little plastic surgery magic in there, whip it up…and voila, you’ve just won yourself a bunch of haters. LOL.

But the best contenders for this game are the ones who are born with it and know it; these girls will leave you spitting venom in the club when they start to grind their little waists, big behinds and great looking boobs (we all know the magic a good push-up bra can do, not forgetting our best friend silicon). The killer curves diva only has one thing in mind when she dresses up to go out, even to the corner store, she has one thing in the back of her mind, “does this hug my waist and shows off what my mama gave me”. This girl doesn’t need to buy the tightest outfits in the store, no, all she needs are the colors that best suit her makeup, create an ensemble and go out to make other girls feel like they were purchased from walmart.LOL.

I say, you don’t need to have the best curves, but take care of your curves. Love handles are so yester-year, outdated, expired. It’s not even teletubby cute anymore. It takes hard work to be a woman and you just have to show up at the competition for you to even begin to compete. Oh I know what some of you are thinking “what the hell is Zee saying, I don’t care about competition, and I’m comfortable with my body”. Well ok, that’s on you, but we both know that you’ve looked at a curvier girl, not skinny, curvier and cursed under your breathe. Come on, don’t try to seem like you have never in your life. I’m not a big girl, but I’ve looked at other women and went, “damn her”. When we begin to confront our inner truths, the better we are at loving ourselves.

We all want a bigger ass, bigger boobs, smaller stomach, thinner arms, slim thighs, longer hair, brains and all.

The ‘who is the smartest” game isn’t exactly a priority for most women, we have figured out that out looks pave the way for great things in life so we tend to roll out and play that card every chance we get. Even if it means acting like Phoebe from the TV sitcom Friends.

Some women, pride themselves in this. They would actually rather be mentally engaging than be a Barbie. I can respect that.

I can respect even more the woman who’s an all-rounder; mean wardrobe, always manages to looks great, takes care of her body, has a good lifestyle, cooks well, knows how to clean beyond sweeping, stylish and smart.

And when I say smart, I just don’t mean book smart, I mean both book and street smart. That’s a sexy look. What’s even sexier is the woman who understands the natural competitive streak in people around her and doesn’t see it as negative but rather embraces it, subtly competes but doesn’t let the competition take over her every fiber.

She knows when to let the obvious competitors take the spotlight because she knows it’s the center of their lives and having people commit suicide or be committed to a psychiatric center just because she decided to be a beast and go all out to compete is not a good look.LOL.

So no matter how insignificant or minute the competition may seem, it is still there. Buried behind all the smiles and false complements of others; even amongst family or even co-workers. And nowadays it’s worse because of all the social networking that allows other people a glimpse into the life you may be perpetrating to live.

The need to remain relevant too will have others compete with your brain even though they don’t know how you feed, nurture and maintain it.

You may not be competing, but the competition is there. Take a closer look even at your own circle or friends and family.

DiamondDiva

Big or Small, it's still S.E.X

Does the size of his dick really matter? Yes I asked!

I have heard a lot of women debate about this issue back and forth, over and over.

Is it his dick or the lover in him that can set that cookie on fire?

Don’t be shy…I know I am not the only one who has thought or spoken about this.

The more women try to hide behind “I don’t mind the size of his pinto” the more women you will have cheating on their love.

Then again, a man could compete with an elephant trunk and still be the worst lover you have ever had because all he knew how to do was climb on top of you and push back and forth like he was operating a toy.  And you could come across a man with a dick size of your pinky finger, and he could take you to Paris with his tongue, get you high with his fingers, float you on a magic carpet with his mouth then drop you dead on your behind on the cold concrete when he finally delievers.LOL.

*I know many Divas can relate*

The same applies to pubic hair. I mean if a man can tell a woman to shave, wax it or bleach it. Why can’t he do the same? There is nobody who likes to visit downtown and come up with a mouth full of hair. No Sir! There is nothing unmanly about trimming a bush or shaving it. It’s kind of cute too.

There is nothing wrong with saying you like a man with a big shaft (as shallow as it may be to others), the kind of shaft that will leave your ovaries throbbing from pain when you are done trying to bust your insides open. And there is nothing wrong about saying you like a man who eats good pussy. Not a few licks, but a man who isn’t shy to dive into a woman. It is what it is.

Just as it is not a crime for man to say he loves a woman who can give good head, lick his balls and keep her teeth out of the whole thing. And he would really love a woman who could give him head until he cums. It is what it is.

And as much as we women often diss men about their dicks….why do women get offended when a man says he can’t mess with you because you are just too wide down there? He is doing the best he can but it still feels like somebody is holding your cookie open? LOL.

Ladies don’t get upset, we all know this happens and some women have been unfortunate to find themselves in that category. And the “I had a baby” excuse does not work- the men have found out that’s just a lie you use to cover up the fact that you been with man with a much bigger shaft.

Yet other men use this wide excuse just to be mean, forgetting that you may have downgraded from a Mercedes G55 to him.

Then again, after all, when the mileage is high what does the owner of the car expect?

With that said, man should not feel offended when a woman tries to teach you a few things in bed. Because truth be told, most guys think they have sex on lockdown when the honest truth is majority of you can’t even make a girl wet, forget helping her reach an orgasm. Most women just fake it or lie to you that is was good just to keep you happy. Men are so caught up on being the Shaq O’Neil of sex that most of the time they just want to hear a woman moan and they think that’s it. *BUZZER SOUND*  Wrong.

Just because you pop Viagra and can go on for hours doesn’t make you King Kong. And Trey Songs just sings about all that.

The fact that you have slept with 30 women doesn’t mean you know how lay it down, it just means you had 30 women who were willing to sleep with you and out of the 30 you probably got 2 callbacks anyway and 20 were booty calls. #JustSaying

And no, your 6 kids are just proof that you had 6 women who were willing to sleep with you without a condom.

But one thing I don’t get is ANAL SEX and “straight men”, what is buzz behind all this? Where’s the pleasure? Who is getting the pleasure? How do you take a dump after that? And if a man can do it through the ass, it means he can get another man to do it with him. At the end of the day, ass is ass. Whether male or female. You ass munchers need to stop hiding behind, “its just anal sex babe”. That is a flamingo habit. It is what it is.

Another thing I don’t understand, and brothers I need your help on this one, how in the world are you hung low, talk smack about your game, look good, grown and you still can’t get the basics right? How in the world do you miss the clitoris? That’s like the mother of magic.

What are you hands and fingers cut?

A word of advice to all the brothers out there: quit talking smack about what you can do to a woman in bed…please do not set yourself up to be the laughing stock of my next tea meeting. Keep your words to a minimum if you must try to sound like Sylvester Stallone. You will be incredibly lucky if she doesn’t laugh at you in the face while you think you working it. And stop grunting like Gorillas, I we wanted to go to the zoo, we go with our friends.

Oh and the same goes to my Divas…men are very visual creatures, if you start talking like you can pop that like a stripper and do back flips while you on and keep your cookie wet by yourself- you better be able to do monkey tricks to go with that circus he has playing in his head. We all know you can’t make a sprite can disappear in your mouth and you don’t give head; you just give a couple of licks until its hard and you ready to lay on your back. Don’t lie to the man. Don’t talk but show him. You can brag to your girlfriends because we all know every woman would like to put it on a man like a pro.

DiamondDiva

A Good Partner

I have often wondered what the definition of a good woman or man is.

 In the context of a relationship, what is the definition of a good woman? Who determines if a man has a good woman? And what is the barometer used to measure a good man?

In most cases, we use our past relationships (bad or good) as a telescope of a good partner. As we grow older and go through experience we learn who we are in a relationship and what and how we like to be treated. Another factor is what we see out in the world.

I don’t know for men but for women sometimes our friends’ experiences and opinions always seem to shape what we end up looking for or settling for. And in that; we manage to turn what we need for ourselves to what we would like to have and that is approved by the general public.

There is no such thing as men are intimidated by women. Never.

Ladies stop all this junk about, “He cannot handle a woman like me because I earn more”.

 Don’t cushion your rejection. It’s simple. If a brother doesn’t like you or your cookie…he will be out! Just because most men punk out and come out with so many excuses it doesn’t mean they actually mean half of what they are saying.

There are many scenarios and reasons of a break up but intimidation is hardly one. And if it is; that man was just a punk to begin with and you never saw it either because the laying of the pipe was that good or you wanted to believe that you are so insanely happy, that Mr. It had finally arrived at last.

Oops, how wrong you were. And now that he decides to move on it’s because he’s probably intimidated by you? Now you want to call him names and have a gossip party about him? Really? Come on Diva; get back to planet earth please.

There is nothing more pathetic than a Diva who will not just accept that a punk has found a new cookie jar or that she was one of those Divas that treated a man like boy. If you treated him like a King and he still chose to walk out on you… that’s not your business to sit and evaluate why. Let a dog be a dog.

As women, we often make these men feel worthless simply because we stroke our own egos. Let a man be a man until he fails to be a man. Don’t fail him because he doesn’t “look’ the part.

What is the 1^st thing that crosses your mind when you come across someone you would like to date or be involved with? Do you let your alter-ego take over or you try to seem like it doesn’t bother you that they are not looking your way? Do you show what you are all about? Do you open flirt? Do you take the lead? Do you envision yourself naked and having the craziest bonk with them? Do you see yourself being the craziest sex they have ever had? Or you just want to get through those few moments?

When you first meet a person you walk away from them knowing whether or not you want them in your life. If that’s not the case, you give yourself a chance to sit and talk to them. By the end of that 1^st date you already know if you would like to have a casual fling, one-night stand or a relationship with them. This is why we give ourselves the time to get to know them. Otherwise you would not waste your time unless it’s all about fulfilling your sexual needs. And by getting to know someone it doesn’t give either party’s’ a ticket to have sex. A man or woman should be able to respect that you are in way ready to have a sexual encounter with them just after 3 hours or 3weeks.its common sense; unless of course this is what you both want and can live with it should one choose to walk away from the entire situation after the cookie deal has been sealed. It’s not playing hard to get. It’s just a principle.

So the next time someone lies to you and says they don’t know what they want from you even after you have been on countless dates and chill sessions…they are probably lying to you. That or they don’t want a relationship with you just yet or ever but they want to keep enjoying you *wink*.

And if you are enjoying the being enjoyed position then that’s all good. Just don’t you run talking foul about somebody once they are through with you. Just know there is nothing more irritating than a man/woman playing around and stringing another along just to keep their options open.

Divas; if you know you have no intention of being involved with somebody, except being tangled between sheets-make it obviously clear.

The common factor and problem with many Divas, shims, men and all is that we make the physical connection way too soon. We give ourselves away in the name of fun and flirting. We give the predator what he wants without having really done much for it. And when I say, “done much” I’m not talking about financial or material gain. I know some grown women who are still stuck in that phase or open legs equals open heart. I can tell you now…that’s the worst kind of mathematics one can ever do.

If a man wants to be a part-time lover….it's either you with it or not. And if you with it get with the program and understand exactly what it means. But I wouldn’t waste my time trying to keep a part- time lover happy as I would be as miserable as London weather if I chose to do that.

Most women are too busy trying to change who they are to fit the lifestyle of expectations of a man, not minding if they are low or are disrespectful to her.

Many women, for example, wouldn’t mind sharing a man with four other women as long as he keeps the Benjamin’s green and the Moet coming.

You have to have played the game well enough to know how you want to feel majority of the time when you are with your partner.

Know yourself well enough to walk away from the Brad Pitt of your dreams if need be.

Most men just want a woman who can be herself and the fools who are not bright enough to appreciate that; well let them roll on past, with their pockets fool of money.

DiamondDiva